Unbreakable
by visionary88
Summary: Peyton and Brooke’s friendship shattered six months ago, along with Brooke’s heart and her relationship with Lucas. While Peyton intoxicates herself to forget the void, Brooke attempts to fill it with unemotional flings. Breyton.
1. Chapter 1

Story: Peyton and Brooke's friendship shattered six months ago, along with Brooke's heart and her relationship with Lucas. While Peyton intoxicates herself to forget the void, Brooke attempts to fill it with unemotional sex. Breyton. Warning: Femslash - if you don't like it, don't read it.

_I never signed up for this. What time is it anyway? _Brooke crooked her neck uncomfortably from her position on the hard dorm room bed. _Two a.m.! And he still wants to cuddle? Re-freaking-diculous._

The brunette rolled her eyes. Okay, enough was enough. Clenching her teeth, she slowly reached for the boy's arm that was secured to her stomach. He let out a grunt in his sleep and pulled her tighter.

"Oh come on!" she exclaimed. That did it.

The boy… whose name had escaped her… leapt off of her at an impressive speed.

Brooke let out a sigh of relief and immediately took advantage of his disoriented state to scamper off the single bed. Her clothes were strewn about the floor, along with what appeared to be the boy's entire wardrobe.

"What's going on?" the boy murmured. "What're you doing?"

_How are you even in college?_

"Um, leaving?"

Just because the boy was dumb didn't mean that he deserved her sarcasm. But Brooke's patience was limited when it came to this newly developed… hobby. She did this to distract herself. She did it to train her heart – make it unbreakable. When they lay there like that, with her, that's when she could feel her world start to fall apart again.

In the dark, alone save for her nameless, fast-asleep novelty item, Brooke could think. She'd remember when she was happy. She'd remember Peyton's betrayal. Then, she'd remember how it felt – standing in Peyton's room and calling her best friend and her boyfriend on their affair, vowing to end her relationship with both, but knowing that her life would be empty without them.

Although, if she was entirely truthful with herself, only one was truly indispensable.

The boy was more aware now. "What's your damage, anyway?"

Brooke forcefully pulled up her low-rise jeans. A cynical laugh escaped her lips and she shook her head. "You got all night?" She whipped her head in his direction, "That was, like, rhetorical or whatever."

Five minutes later, Brooke was walking through the front door of the dormitory. What happened in there was a rare occurrence. The boys were usually happy to let her go, no name, phone number or address needed. _I wonder if there's a way to detect that beforehand. _

_--_

Brooke crashed down onto her bed. She was exhausted, but could sense that there would be no sleeping tonight. Peeking over the edge of her silk sheets, Brooke's attention caught onto her laptop. She guiltily picked it up. She couldn't stop herself. For some reason, despite the pain it caused, she had to do this every night. _Hello, masochism. _

On her desktop, she clicked on the shortcut that took her straight to a place of calmness – Peyton's bedroom. Brooke had an addiction to her ex-best friend's podcast… an addiction, it seemed, shared with 20,000 other people around the globe. Her ex-best friend's cult following would put that lonely whiny girl in the mountains to shame. The following had grown slowly since the explosion in that bedroom six months ago.

While the picture loaded, Brooke found herself holding her breath. She reminded herself about the necessity of oxygen.

There, on her screen, was the blonde that was core of her life for so long. She had held everything together. Peyton had the same insomnia problem that she did.

Looking at Peyton, straight into those green eyes that seemed to pierce right into you from the screen, it was torture. Brooke brought her fingers up to the screen, touching the blonde's lips, her hair, then dropping her hand as though it'd been burned.

From the screen, Peyton seemed to mouth, "I'm sorry."

_Okay, exhaustion has caused hallucinations. C'mon Brooke Davis, sleep like a normal human being. _

_--_

The halls were empty by the time Peyton got to school. It was pretty typical. She had one more thing on her plate every morning that most kids didn't have to worry about. Most teenage girls got up, grabbed a bowl of cheerios, brushed their teeth, spent between five and thirty minutes deciding what to wear, fixed their hair and makeup and headed out to class. Peyton did all that, and then spent ten minutes in the parking lot with her new best friend, Jack Daniels. To her, that time in her car was more essential to preparing for the day than any other morning ritual.

She looked up at the clock. 9:43. The hands were a bit blurry, but she was sober enough that there were only two of them. _Crap, _she thought.

The blonde strode to her first period English literature class and pushed open the door.

"Peyton Sawyer," sighed Mr. Reeves. "Glad you could fit us into your schedule this morning."

She walked straight to the back of the room and smirked at her teacher's comment. "Glad? Then I haven't been trying hard enough," she spat out, before slumping into her plastic chair.

Instead of giving her full attention to Mr. Reeves now that she was in class like a good student, Peyton took out her notebook and began to draw furiously. Her face no more than a few inches from the page, she blocked out the rest of the world and dove headlong into her creative outlet.

From the other end of the room, Brooke disregarded Mr. Reeve's lecture as well. She watched as Peyton's eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Even while in her own head, Peyton looked angry. Even doing the things she loved, Peyton was cold. During realisations like these, Brooke had to remind herself why she wasn't there to comfort her old friend. _Going back would be weak, _she told herself. _Peyton brought this on herself. She betrayed me, not the other way around. I deserve to be happy. Granted, I was always happiest when she was with me… but that's not the point! I deserve to be happy on my own, or with people who are, like, not of the back-stabbing bitch variety. Yeah! Why can't I do that? _

At that moment, Peyton looked up, as if sensing her stare. When their eyes connected, Peyton's entire being seemed to soften. Her muscles became less tense, and her eyes conveyed hope rather than frustration.

Apparently Peyton was still in her own world though. "Brooke," she said. The word was barely above a whisper, but it shot through the classroom like a bullet.

Brooke's eyes widened and she immediately averted her gaze.

Mr. Reeves adjusted his stance and turned back to the girl that may or may not have been the reason he decided to retire next year. "Miss Sawyer. Do you have something to say?"

"Actually I do," she answered. Somewhere deep inside her, sober Peyton was scolding her to stop. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Brooke hit her forehead down on the surface of her desk. She thought she heard her friend – her ex-friend – curse.

Mr. Reeves huffed and looked at the caged clock above his door. "Okay, we've only got three minutes left. Let's hear it," he said.

Peyton stood up, and in doing so, knocked her sketching pencils and pad right off the desk. She didn't seem to notice. The look Brooke had given her lingered in her mind. It said more to her than anything that had actually come from Brooke's mouth within the last six months.

For six months, she watched her friend act as though nothing had happened – around everyone but her and Lucas. Brooke smiled and giggled with the cheer squad throughout lunch period and flirted with the basketball team during practise after school. Her wardrobe was never outdated and she bragged to her friends about her latest purchases. She kept dating – albeit, Peyton had never seen her go out with any guy for more than a week. _This must be the Brooke that everyone else used to see from far while I got the backstage pass. _

In that look, Peyton could see past the shell of her former best friend.

"I just wanted to say to Brooke that-," Peyton gulped and re-balanced herself as she started to sway. "I wanted to say that I never wanted him. But I couldn't tell her that, then. He was just… there, y'know, he was there. And I was, well, scared." The blonde nodded solemnly, turning her gaze to Brooke. A hint of a smile appeared on her face. "And I hope that, one day, she'll let me tell her why. I mean, she might have to pound it from me… but I'm sure she'll have no problem with that."

With that, Peyton let out an over-exaggerated sigh and picked her discarded bag and sketchpad up from the tiled floor. "Thanks Mr. Reeves. See you tomorrow," she said, heading for the door and stalling just inside the threshold. "Well, if you're lucky," she added over her shoulder.

Brooke peeked out over the edge of her desk as Mr. Reeves dismissed the rest of the class. She felt the heat creep up into her cheeks during Peyton's little monologue. She knew that she was an extremely unattractive shade of red right now.

Once most of the students had cleared out, she stomped over to her teacher.

"Why did you let her do that?" she whined to him.

Mr. Reeves took a step to the chalkboard and started to erase the white words.

"Well, Miss Davis, it seemed the two of you wouldn't be able to pay attention to all of the intelligent things I had to say until your own conversation had been finished," he said.

Brooke's mouth dropped open, not realising that he had seen her source of distraction. "But I didn't say anything!"

"No, but you spent a good fifteen minutes of valuable class time making eyes at our very own class-destruction vessel," he said.

Brooke grunted. "I was so not 'making eyes,'" she asserted, making air quotes. "I was just, like, monitoring her to make sure that she wouldn't distract your class again. It was her fault!"

"While your concern for my class is touching, Miss Davis, what's done is done. I hope you got enough out of your girl's speech that you can pay more attention to me and less attention to my counterpart next class." Mr. Reeves raised an eyebrow at his student, and picked up his briefcase before leaving the classroom.

Meanwhile, Brooke struggled with her words. Her mouth was open in protest, but for once in her life, her protest was silent. Finally, she came up with, "But – she's not my girl."

--

Thanks for reading, guys!

This was my first Breyton story… I haven't written fanfic in years, and just got a random craving to start, so I figured here was a good place to do so 

I love feedback, P.S.


	2. Chapter 2

((Thanks for all the feedback, guys! It actually makes me SO excited when I see that someone has written something... kinda sad, haha. I'm glad you think that my characters are believable (that was my biggest concern). So here's the update! Write to me some more and tell me what you think!))

_She had no right! Especially in the middle of class like that. And what did that even mean? She didn't want him. Of course she wanted him! She destroyed our friendship over him. Unless! She really wanted to destroy our friendship! No… the constant drunkenness kinda vetoes that theory. _Brooke smiled at Bevin as the bubbly teen rambled on about her weekend. She nodded, because everyone else was nodding. She didn't have a clue what she was agreeing to. She tried to tune back in.

"…And then she wanted to borrow my umbrella, y'know, my new one from the Rhianna line, and I was like, no. You know what happened to my Lindsay Lohan leggings when you took them last weekend. But then she reminded me that I wouldn't need my umbrella because I wasn't going to Connecticut…"

_She must know she's killing me right now. Why would she make a speech – in front of all those people – to ask for my forgiveness and then go all cryptic on me! "I never wanted him. I was scared. I hope she'll let me tell her why." Ugh! Please. _

"Brooke."

The sound of her name snapped her out of her mental rant.

Her cheer squad's attention had, at some point, switched from Bevin to her. "Yeah, sorry, what?" she asked as she readjusted to the life outside her own mind.

Bevin's concerned stare bore into her. "Why were you smiling? I'm telling you there was _hail _that day. It could've, like, dented it or something," the cheerleader said.

It was only then that Brooke realized her lips were upturned into a forced smile. She immediately dropped it and softened her eyes. "Oh, sorry Bevin. I'm a little out of it right now. I think I'm gonna go get some air," she said, her voice low.

"Do you want company?" the other girl chirped.

"No, it's okay. I'll see you later." The brunette stood up from their lunch table and headed for the nearest door. She hoped the air would clear her head. But she doubted it.

_Peyton Sawyer, why are you doing this to me?_

Brooke took a deep breath as she slammed through the door leading to the parking lot. She halted after her first couple steps.

"Brooke!"

The brunette cringed. She really wasn't in social mode right now. _Weird. _Brooke hardly ever wanted to be alone. But she plastered the fake smile back on her face and turned to look at the source of the word. "Hey tutor-girl," she greeted as Haley approached her.

"Hey, I just wanted to see how you're doing," Haley said. "I can't believe Mr. Reeves let her go on like that this morning."

Brooke shrugged and averted her gaze. She didn't want anyone to know how much Peyton's little speech got to her. "Yeah well, I'm okay. It's not like she hasn't tried anything like that before."

Haley squinted her eyes, as if trying to remember. She was pretty sure Peyton actually hadn't made such a bold attempt before. She seemed to have given up the day that Brooke told her they were no longer friends. But Haley also had a feeling that Brooke wouldn't appreciate her opinion on the matter. Her classmate clearly didn't want to discuss her ex-friend's confession. At least not right now.

"Okay," Haley said, stepping away. "Let me know if you wanna talk. I'll be around."

Brooke nodded, "Sure, tutor-girl." This time she omitted the false enthusiasm. "Thanks."

The girl's concern for her was touching. She knew it was something she wouldn't get from her cheer squad. Maybe one day she'd take Haley up on her offer. But today, as much as she wanted to voice all of the questions that were on her mind, she knew that only one person could give her the answers she longed for.

_Speak of the devil._

Across the parking lot, she could see Peyton sitting in the driver's seat of her black convertible. Brooke hesitated. Her mind was screaming at her to make the short walk over to the car. But her body was nailed to place, while her heart whispered at her to be careful.

_This is exactly what she wants – for me to give in and ask her what she meant. Well, it's not happening! I mean, I could go over there, and ask for the details and just because she gives them to me doesn't mean things will change. She'll still be the traitor that stole my boyfriend. She'll still be the one that voided our friendship. She'll still be the one that makes my life hard, because I really just want to forgive her. Nope, still not happening. _

Brooke realized, then, that she was already walking. In fact, she was practically running. Her mind had won out. All second thoughts had been pushed back. She needed to have this conversation.

Brooke yanked open the passenger side door, slid into the car, and pulled it shut all in one quick movement. The sudden intrusion caused Peyton to jump. When she realized who it was that caused the commotion, the blonde's eyes widened. She appeared to be genuinely surprised at Brooke's visit.

_Maybe that wasn't her intention, _Brooke thought, suddenly afraid that she had listened to the wrong body part. _You shoulda spoken up!_ She cursed at her heart.

"I'm not here to make up," Brooke warned. She noticed some of the hope disintegrate from Peyton's eyes. She tried not to care.

"Then why are you, Brooke?" The brunette could smell the alcohol on Peyton's breath. It seemed to radiate from her – she must have come back to the Comet for a refresher.

"What was with the speech?" she spat out. "You had no right to say those things to me."

"Well you didn't give me much of a choice," Peyton defended, her voice rising. "It's not like you're dying to hear what I have to say."

"There's a reason I've been ignoring you – and a pretty good one if you ask me, or anyone else with morals. You can't just corner me in a classroom with a bunch of people to say what you can't otherwise. That doesn't make it okay," Brooke scolded.

"Fine! That wasn't right. But I didn't know what else to do!" Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Brooke's harshness faltered at the sight of Peyton's welling eyes. She couldn't stand to see her old friend cry. But she couldn't stop now. _Keep going, _she told herself. "How about nothing? I already told you, we can't go back to being friends. You hurt me, Peyt. Like more than anyone has in my whole life. I expect things like this from my mother – abandonment, carelessness, whatever. My father is practically non-existent. You've always been the one I trusted, and you _betrayed _me."

"I'm sorry, okay? What else do you want from me? This is the closest I've come to really talking to you in six months," Peyton's voice cracked. She cleared her throat and looked straight out front into the parking lot. She couldn't watch Brooke say these things to her. She couldn't stand to see the pain in her friend's eyes again.

"You could start by telling me what was up with the cryptic, I-didn't-really-want-him part," Brooke offered.

Peyton shook her head. "Not now," she answered.

"What?" The word came out in the form of a screech. Brooke couldn't believe that Peyton would make a display like that, and then not even provide an explanation.

"I can't now, Brooke. You have to forgive me first."

"I can't do that," Brooke said softly, her emotions getting the better of her. She felt a tear travel down her cheek.

A sad smile played at Peyton's lips. She saw that coming. "Okay, well, until you can…" she said. She stole one more brief glance at her best friend, and then pushed open her door. As the curly-haired blonde strode away, her heels clicking against the pavement, Brooke felt herself break all over again. Her throat burned trying to hold in the tears. She had no choice. The brunette laid her head against the back of her seat, and let them fall.

_You shoulda spoken up, _she thought again.


	3. Chapter 3

Peyton was stuck in purgatory. At least, that's how she felt. She didn't "live" anymore; she wandered aimlessly through her days and tried to amend her mistakes, always to no avail. She'd lost hope. That's why she enveloped herself in darkness, both literally and figuratively. On her monitor, a grainy version of herself stared back at her. She'd dimmed her bedroom lights. Her webcam never approved of that.

_I wonder if they can tell what I'm thinking, _Peyton thought. Tonight, her heart wasn't into trying to verbalize everything on her mind. Instead of speaking, she let them watch her think. She had been doing this a lot lately. They never seemed to mind.

Her green eyes glazed over, looking into the sphere clipped on to the top of her monitor. She knew that lots of people would find it unnerving – that is, having upwards of 500 people watching you at any given time. But Peyton found it comforting. These unidentified people were there to support her. They listened to everything that Brooke refused to hear, and saw everything that Brooke didn't allow herself to see. The podcast was her diary, and they were her sympathetic readers.

Peyton shifted her position so that she was lounging against the back of her chair, arm dangling lazily behind it. At the bottom of her screen, conversation windows impatiently flashed orange. She clicked on the first one with her free hand.

_**SeXkInG: **_Hey baby. U lookin good 2nite!! Wanna hook up l8r?

Peyton rolled her eyes and clicked the 'X' in the top right corner. Next.

_**PepPrincess: **_Peytonnn! You've gotta come back to cheer squad!

Peyton smirked at the comment. _Uh huh, right_, she thought as she grasped her bottle of spiced rum. She took a swig straight from the bottle, before releasing it to type back.

_**AngelofDeath: **_I think I'm good here with Captain Morgan. Thanks.

_**PepPrincess: **_Nooo! Come on! Brooke is totally going on a power trip or something. We're busting our asses off and like nothing's good enough! I think shes taking all of her anger out on us. It wouldn't happen if you came back..

_**AngelofDeath: **_You DO know that I'm the one causing all the anger, right? If anything, I'd make it worse.

_**PepPrincess: **_That SO isn't true!

_**PepPrincess: **_Well ok, maybe it is, but everyone knows that you two will always be best friends, even when you hate each other. She's miserable without you around. If you're there, maybe she can get over herself for once and give us a break.

_**AngelofDeath: **_Sorry. Don't think so. Lifts and pyramids + Brooke and minions is a death sentence.

_**PepPrincess: **_Pleeeease, Peyton?? I promise to catch you if you "accidently" plunge face-first towards the floor ;)

_**AngelofDeath: **_That's comforting, Lexxi, really. I'll keep that in mind.

While the other girls acted like a pack of Pomeranian pups under Brooke's ownership, Lexxi was the one girl on the squad that always managed to escape her leash. Everyone knew that if Brooke were to step down from the head cheerleader position, Lexxi would be next up. Because of that, there had always been tension between the two. More than once, Peyton had caught herself thinking that she would've gotten along great with Lexxi, if she wasn't so close to Brooke.

A knock from the door imposed on her silence. "Yeah," she called.

"Peyton, it's me," came the male voice from outside.

"Whaddya want, Luke?" Peyton asked, her tone monotonous. She heard the door click open.

_**PepPrincess: **_I'm serious! I could totally take them down if they tried anything

_**AngelofDeath: **_I'll think about it. Gotta go.

_**PepPrincess: **_Great! See you at practise tomorrow!

Peyton groaned, knowing that meant she didn't have much of a choice. She closed Lexxi's conversation window before spinning in her chair to face Lucas. She could practically feel her viewers awaken with his presence. She knew that within minutes, more than a thousand people would be watching their conversation. Lucas's visits used to be frequent, but like herself, he also seemed to have lost hope. When Peyton gave up on Brooke, Lucas gave up on both of them. She raised an eyebrow, as if begging him to talk.

"Just came to see how you're doing," he said sheepishly.

"I've been better." There was way more sarcasm in her tone than she'd intended. She saw the boy flinch at her iciness. She sighed, forcing herself to calm down, and crossed her arms. He did nothing wrong, she had to remember that. "Sorry," she muttered, averting her eyes.

"Why are all your lights off?" he asked

Peyton shrugged, "Mood lighting?" she answered light-heartedly. A smile appeared on her face, but only for a second. It disappeared the second she realized the uncomfortable second connotation to a comment like that. She cleared her throat, choosing to forgo the effortful cheeriness in favour of a more serious demeanour. "Helps me think," she decided.

Lucas nodded, thoughtfully disregarding her first response. "So, about what you said in class today... was it true?"

And there is was: the real reason for his visit. "It's complicated, Luke," she moaned.

"Just yes or no, Peyton. Did you mean it?"

"Don't make me say it again," she pleaded. She knew he wouldn't want to hear the answer, and she cared for him enough that it would pain her to give it to him.

"I need to hear it."

"Fine! I meant it, okay?" If she had to answer him, she needed to do it all at once – quickly and painfully like ripping off a band-aid.

"Then, why?" he choked out. Peyton could tell that Lucas was struggling to keep his masculine composure. He was squinting now, as if trying to fight off the tears.

A sad smile graced Peyton's lips. "Ah, the sixty-four thousand dollar question," she murmured. She gulped. "I needed to… distract myself. And you were pretty good at helping me do that," the blonde said with a slight nod. She forced herself to look into his hurt eyes. She wasn't proud of herself, knowing that she'd been the one to cause that. "I really am sorry, Lucas. I know it was selfish, and careless, and, just, stupid," she started to rant, "but I didn't realize what I was doing until we were so far into it, and by that time I'd betrayed you and Brooke and myself… and I didn't know what to do anymore! I didn't know what was real and what my mind had just, sorta, created. And I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. It haunts me, like, pretty much every day."

Lucas just stared. He had no response for her. He'd gotten the answer he'd asked for. Without speaking, Lucas nodded. He turned around and left Peyton alone in her darkened room, one inch closer to hell.

--

((Wow! I actually managed to make it through a whole chapter in Peyton's mind! Man, it's depressing in there, haha. So, what do you guys think? Overly dramatic, yes, but hopefully still in-character enough? All of your positive comments gave me the confidence I needed to come out of my Brooke-centred comfort zone :)

**Brucasgrl15 – **Yes, I guess it is under the "femslash" category. I thought the Breyton label was enough for that, but I added the warning at the beginning just in case. I'm hoping that the story is still believable though, as I don't think the Brooke/Peyton thing would be totally out of the question. This isn't smut. This is as close to real life as I can muster.

**Finalhybrid – **First of all, from your first comment, I'm SO glad that my story entertained you enough to keep you awake at 5 a.m. ;) Secondly, I'm also glad that that you found Peyton's speech convincing. I hope that my updates continue to live up to your first impression!

**Rain1657 – **Where's the fun in making them forgive each other right away? Oh yes, expect more angst before any significant progress can be made. Angst is so much more fun.

**Tigger-babe – **Your comments are so sweet! I'm relieved that my Haley was decent. As you can see, I'm slowly bringing in the other characters so that I don't overload myself trying to figure them all out at once, haha. You might know what Peyton means… or I might throw in a twist. Who knows?! ;)

**WantTakeHave – **Thanks! You contributed a great deal to my aforementioned confidence in my characters. Sorry not to get anywhere with the Brooke/forgiveness storyline this time around, necessary set-up chapter -sigh-

Also thanks to **BleedLikeMe, E.Christianna, physcob2002, melovedk, apathyaddict, craftyns99, **and **othnaleyfan4 **for their encouraging comments!

So, this time around, what do you guys think of my new character, Lexxi? First impressions? I need to know so that I can shape her to fit my needs, haha. How was my Peyton, now that I finally managed to stick with her through a whole chapter? Things will get worse before they get better. Be prepared for some peak action within the next couple chapters!))


	4. Chapter 4

Brooke had missed the podcast last night. The infamous conversation took place well before she typically returned home, but that didn't mean she was unaware about, well, absolutely anything that was said. Today, whispers filled Tree Hill High. When she walked through the halls, it sounded as though she was walking through a wind tunnel. She couldn't separate one soft voice from another; they merged to create a single low rumble.

Even now, at 3:30 p.m., the whispers continued. _When will this become old news?_ Bevin, Katie, and Cass, who were supposed to be practising the lift they could never complete, huddled together, occasionally casting Brooke a sympathetic glance. The squad, more than anyone, knew that Peyton was a sensitive subject around her. She knew why they kept their voices down. She didn't know why the rest of the school hid behind a veil of secrecy. Peyton had simply confirmed her announcement from class. What's the big deal if she did so through Lucas? Oh right, no one believed her until she said it to his face – including Brooke.

"Bevin, Katie, Cass! Maybe you should worry about making sure none of you fall on your ass and embarrass me before you worry about a certain ex-cheerleader's love life, huh?" she called over to them, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

The three girls spun to her, eyes wide. They nodded enthusiastically at her advice. "Sure, Brooke. Sorry, Brooke!" Bevin yelled back.

She heard the gym doors creak open and glanced over her shoulder to see who was going to play the voyeur role today: a pimply freshman that fantasized about the varsity cheerleaders instead of asking out someone his own age, or one of the Tree Hill Ravens who'd finished practise and decided to try his hand at scoring a cheerleader.

Neither of the above. Brooke took a sharp inhale of breath as Peyton Sawyer strode towards her. It took Brooke a moment to regain herself.

"Okay, who invited that?" she hollered, her attention switching back to the squad. With the way Peyton left her the day before, Brooke had a feeling this wasn't the blonde's idea. In fact, from Peyton's expression, this was probably one of the last places her old friend wanted to be.

"I did."

Brooke didn't have to search for the voice. She should've known.

Lexxi sauntered from her cheerleading crowd to the brooding blonde. She grabbed Peyton's hand. "And she's staying," she added, tossing Brooke a glance that dared her to object.

Brooke grunted at the other girl's persistence. "Whatever," she said, throwing up her hands in surrender. She knew Lexxi would get her way. She always did. The principal loved her. As did the squad. As did every boy at Tree Hill High. The girl was her competition. Lexxi was a few inches taller than Brooke with charcoal brown hair and an olive complexion. Today, her ringlets were tied in a low ponytail, cascading down her back. Brooke had always been jealous of her hair.

She stomped over to her cheer binder lying on the bleachers, and ruffled through the pages. "But now my triangles are all messed up," she whined.

One of the girls timidly rose her hand, "Umm, actually Brooke," she said, getting the head cheerleader's attention, "I've decided that I don't wanna be on your cheer squad anymore. It's not fun anymore."

Brooke's eyes shot daggers at the petite blonde girl, who cowered under her stare. "Fine, Emma."

"It's Amy."

"Yeah, sure. Just hand over the pom-poms, 'kay?" she asked perkily, giving Amy the bitterest sweet smile she could.

Amy gulped and passed the blue and yellow pom-poms to Brooke. Once the gym door had closed behind the girl, Brooke turned her attention back to the squad. "Okay, P. Sawyer, you're in."

Peyton practically shuddered at the way Brooke used her old nickname – void of all feeling. Little did she know that it took all of Brooke's control to maintain her act. Inside, Brooke was shaking, her mind cluttering, her heart seemingly expanding – but yet dropping simultaneously. Her entire being felt light as air but, somehow, heavy as bricks. She didn't just want to kick this habit; she needed to absolutely destroy it.

"Okay, pair up," Brooke called out to them. She took a sidelong glance in the direction of Lexxi and Peyton. The blonde was barely paying her any heed. In fact, Peyton was smiling. That was something that Brooke hadn't seen Peyton do in her presence since their friendship was intact. She tried to ignore the pang.

Brooke found her body moving independently from her mind once again. In seconds she was next to the all-consuming girl and her apparent new best friend.

"What is this?" she hissed at the blonde.

Peyton shrugged, "Lexxi told me that your squad is losing its perk." She smiled at the shorter girl, already noticing the attitude Lexxi had mentioned. "Now let's face it, it really is a sad day when you need _me _to fix that."

"Ha!" Brooke's jaw dropped into an over-exaggerated grin. "You think I need you? _So _not the case! I know how to run my squad, and in spite of what you might have heard," Brooke tossed a glare in Lexxi's direction, "we're better off without your, like, emo-ness bringing us down."

"Yeah, and Amy there was just walking proof of that," Peyton retorted, faux enthusiasm still intact.

"Amy was a freshman!" Brooke defended, throwing her arm out in the direction of the door. "Freshmen are weak. I have twelve others that are thrilled to be on my squad."

"Pfft. Hardly." Lexxi apparently decided it was wise to join in on the Peyton/Brooke battle. While Peyton smirked at her new cheer partner, Brooke mentally sharpened her daggers to throw again.

"What did you just say?" Brooke questioned.  
"I said, we are _hardly _thrilled. Frankly, you've been a pain in the ass ever since this one left," she said, throwing her arm around Peyton's back. "No one _wants _to be here. None of us want to be subject to your bitching and moaning and demanding every single day… or at least Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays from three to six. I mean, that's enough. And if it weren't for me, your squad would totally be a solo act by the end of the term." She turned her head to look at Peyton, who was still focused on the head cheerleader. "And to miraculously bring things back to normal, I'm gonna need my miracle worker."

Brooke simply scowled at the two, her eyes reducing to slits with her anger.

Peyton leaned her head slightly towards Lexxi, "I think it's working," she whispered loudly.

"Ughhh!" Brooke finally grunted and stomped back to what she assumed to be the centre of her squad.

"Definitely," Lexxi replied, smiling.

"Okay, someone needs to catch Peyton up on the moves," Brooke yelled.

"Oooh!" she heard faintly, definitely coming from the other brunette. Without so much as a glance in their direction, Brooke said, "Bevin that's your job. Everyone else, we're starting from the beginning. 5! 6! 7! 8!"

--

That was a week ago. The students of Tree Hill High had, indeed, put their whispers to rest – at least when it came to Peyton's dismissal of Lucas. Lucas was old news, but Peyton and Brooke were still in. They always were. And now, apparently, so was Lexxi.

Brooke was on her back… again. This time, she had a couch underneath her. That was always nice. It would definitely not be the first time that she ended up at the foot of the couch, or the kitchen floor, or on the pavement next to the pool at one of these high school parties. This week, Greg Harrison was hosting. Quarterback of the football team, Greg definitely had Brooke's three R's. Reputation? Check. Rich? Check. Ravishing good looks? Check. He was also a decidedly good kisser. Brooke trailed her hands up his back to rest in his gelled-up hair.

This time, the students of Tree Hill were reporting on information from the rumour mill rather than Peyton's bedroom. According to completely unreliable sources, Peyton and Lexxi prepared for their straddle lifts by straddling each other outside of cheer practice. Brooke slid her leg around the outside of Greg's, body parts intermingling. _Yeah right, _she thought. _If Peyton was like that I woulda known. She told me everything! And no one just, like, becomes a lesbian in a matter of months. Right? _

Brooke was just satisfied that she could write this one off, fully confident in her take on it. Yep, she could go right back to her normal life and she didn't even have to consider the possibility that Peyton had kept something like that from her. She put some pressure on the back of Greg's neck and her tongue sought entrance to his mouth.

_And Lexxi, of all people! That's laughable. Lexxi totally wouldn't even be her type. I mean, sure, I guess you could say she's hot, but besides that, what does she have to offer? We never even liked her. Okay, maybe I just didn't like her. But she's confrontational, and outspoken, and only funny in a darkly sarcastic way and ohmigod she's totally Peyton's type. I mean, if Peyton was into the whole girl thing… which she's not, so why am I even still thinking about this! Oops! Time to switch hand position._

Brooke's hands roamed back in the direction they came from, to slide underneath Greg's polo shirt. She let her fingernails graze his back lightly. With that, Greg broke out of their lip lock. "Wanna go upstairs?" he asked.

Brooke took a quick glance at the door. No Peyton. Or Lexxi for that matter, and Lexxi was always at these things. It was probably still too early for the other girl. She liked to make late appearances. Peyton, on the other hand, was probably still in her bedroom, sitting in front of her little spherical camera and boozing it up on her own.

Brooke nodded to the boy on top of her. "Love to," she said, bringing out her best sexy smile.

Greg stood up and offered her his hand. As they climbed the stairs, she heard the front door click open. Brooke whipped her head in the direction of the sound. Lexxi strolled in, long tanned legs well shown off with her black Manolo Blahnik pumps and her short tweed pleated skirt. Lexxi beamed at her greeter and gave him a hug. _Right on time, Lex, _Brooke thought.

Just as she was about to continue her ascent, Lexxi's companion entered. Sporting faded jeans and green Chucks, Peyton Sawyer still looked like she belonged. Lexxi turned back to face the blonde and reached for her hand. Brooke felt her heart lurch. Peyton smiled back at the girl and they started to disappear down the hallway. Brooke felt pressure on her back. Greg was an impatient one. _And why shouldn't he be? _At that moment, Peyton's green eyes flicked up to meet her own. From this angle, that smile was non-existent. Brooke held her gaze for seconds – the type that feels more like hours. And then the blonde was gone. Brooke stared down at the hallway for another moment before conceding to Greg. She took another step towards tonight's resting place.

--

--

Back to Brooke's head this week! I made today my deadline for updating… I'm actually somewhat surprised that I managed to make it. Next update will be a biggie. I'll switch back to Peyton and you can all find out what's going on with the rumours. Plus, I'll get around to the actual action that I wanted to include this time around but realized I wouldn't be able to if I wanted to write decently. Thanks SO much for reading and reviewing, you guys! I actually would have felt bad if this update took any longer… I'm afraid of making any of you angry, haha. Ohhh man, I am too dependent ;)

**Othnaleyfan4 **– I'm super glad that you, as a Peyton fan, approved of my angsty portrayal of her, haha. I think I might tone her down next time… see if I can get normal Peyton accurate too. If not, she's totally staying all emo :P

**Tigger-Babe **– Well in the spirit of NEW OTH IN, LIKE, AN HOUR! I'm giving you another update! So now you definitely won't be going to be going through withdrawls. Yay, Tree Hill overload! I'm also glad that you liked my Peyton, despite the depressing-ness. You're right though, there are so many ways to understand the character… you'd think it'd be easy to just pick one! Yeesh!

**Rain1657 **– Oh my god, you have no idea! I was freaking out in there ;) I'm so keeping that ice cream thing in mind the next time I have to go back.

**FinalHybrid **– Ohhh how I love you and your late night reads, haha. Well, you need not wait any longer to find out my purpose for Lexxi – all will be explained. It makes me ecstatic that you think my Peyton is as good as Brooke! She may take a lot of work, but at least I know she's worth the effort :)

**WantTakeHave **– Aww, you're too sweet! And you totally don't have to be jealous at all. That took way more effort than I'm willing to admit, haha. Please note the ridiculously short length of the Peyton chapter compared to this new one. I approve of your display name, btw. Yeahhh, Faith shout-out! She was totally my favourite character back in the day.

**BleedLikeMe **– I'm glad you believe that it's impossible to be over-dramatic with Peyton. Lack of boundaries bodes well for me, haha. Yes, Lexxi, I think, still needs to be fleshed out, even after this chapter. I'm planning on explaining all about her and relieving (most) confusion in the next chapter. Then… I don't know if you'll all still like her as much. It'll be interesting.. You can totally say that "things getting worse" is actually a good thing! In fact, I agree. So, I'll love writing my next chapter, and hopefully you'll love reading it :)

**Craftyns99, Sheepish123, melovedk, **and **JennVanessa – **thanks so much for your positive comments and for supporting Lexxi (for now) and all the angst, haha. More angst to come, though, so no worries. Stay with me!


	5. Chapter 5

((This chapter was somewhat addicting to write. This story has sort of been a mode of procrastination for me what with the school year ending and having sooo much to do that I really would rather not. Instead of studying for my exams this week, I've spent a good amount of time writing this over the last couple days. I hope my procrastination was worth it for you guys. There's a lot of background info in this chapter. Sorry, kinda VERY necessary. Hope you like!))

--

Bewildering. That was the best way Peyton could describe her new reputation at Tree Hill High. She was in disbelief. At first, she'd denied the rumours, but that'd become tiresome. When she denied them, her conversation companions might say aloud that they knew it wasn't true, but she could tell that, internally, they called her a liar. Their wide eyes clearly conveyed their real response: "Aw! The poor girl's in denial."

They were only half right.

Peyton was 15 the first time she questioned her sexuality. It was the summer of grade 10, and Brooke was in Venice with her family for most of it. That meant Peyton was prepared to suffer through it alone. She always hated when Brooke's mom decided to try that foreign thing called "family time." Lucky for her, it didn't happen often. But when it did, Peyton used it as an excuse to fall into seclusion. Brooke forced her to be social; she decided when they were going to parties and if Peyton should go on dates with the boys who asked. Without Brooke, Peyton had no desire to do either.

Unfortunately, Brooke knew that and wouldn't stand for it. She considered it unhealthy. So that summer, even when overseas, Brooke managed to control Peyton's social life. Or at least, she did to a certain extent. It started with a letter.

_Hey P. Sawyer!_

_I know you're having a freaking ball right now being all, like, sulky and depressed without me. But! I have a favour to ask, which you will do because you love me and want to keep my friendship. My cousin, Andie, is staying at my place for the summer while we're here. She doesn't know anyone in Tree Hill and, believe it or not, her parents might actually give mine a run for their money. So, you can see the urgency in this. Please get her out of the house! I know it's a lot of effort to actually get off your ass and open the front door, but… please? For me? Oh, and don't wear leather or they won't let you in. Thanks best friend! I miss you!_

_-Brooke._

Andie was a very convincing Brooke replacement. Peyton was sure that Brooke had the girl doing her dirty work… like forcing Peyton to make appearances at all the beach bashes. And, despite her initial expectations, she actually enjoyed hanging out with the other Davis. While the chirpy personality was similar, the physical semblance was almost non-existent. Andie had strawberry blonde hair and freckles that seemed to multiply exponentially over the summer. Unlike Brooke, Andie usually opted for the natural look, her prep time just long enough to throw her messy curls up with a clip and put on mascara.

One night Peyton found herself sitting on the rocks, watching the rippled water crash against the edge. She'd drifted half a mile away from the party she'd come for. Andie had followed her.

_"What're you doing all the way out here?" Andie asked. _

_Peyton shrugged, still staring out over the water. "I just needed to get away for a bit. All the alcohol and sex-crazed boys… it's just not really wholesome," she said, smirking._

_Andie nodded slowly. "Gotcha. The sex-crazed boys aren't my type either." _

_"Hate to tell you this, but uh," Peyton leaned towards Andie and continued in a loud whisper, "I think that's the only type."_

_"You're right. But I'm still not interested."_

_Peyton's brow furrowed as she contemplated Andie's answer. Just as a shape of an idea began to form in her mind, the freckled girl stepped forward to close the gap. The other Davis's lips barely grazed her own. The delicate hand never found her hip. Peyton scooted back on the rock. _

_Andie averted her grey-blue eyes. "Sorry," she murmured. _

_Peyton shook her head lightly. "It's okay… well, I mean, I'm not like that. But it's totally cool that you are," she said, her ramble trailing off. _

_"I'm such an idiot."_

_"No! Don't say that. Actually, I think it was really brave, what you just did." After a pause, when Peyton realized that Andie had no response, she continued. "Can I ask you a question?" Andie's foggy eyes met Peyton's emerald ones. "How did you, y'know, figure it out?"_

_The other Davis brightened a bit. She started to talk animatedly about her first girlfriend, and the connection they shared that she'd never experienced with men. Admittedly, she said, she still found men attractive and would occasionally slip into casual relationships with them. But they never held her attention for too long. Women were different. Interacting with them didn't feel so forced. That, and, they were just all-around more beautiful. _

_Peyton couldn't stop her chest from tightening, and shifting her position nervously on the rock. The girl's speech was a little unnerving. _

_Andie stopped to catch her breath. "I feel like this isn't making any sense. Do you get what I'm saying?"_

_Peyton nodded mutely, her lips slightly parted as she tried to choke out a response. "Yeah," she said sharply. "Yeah I do."_

Peyton never did tell Brooke about that conversation. And she never admitted to Andie that she not only understood, but felt it too. It took her the remainder of the summer to process that information herself; she wasn't ready to share it. Not even with someone who would so fully accept her. Two years later, and only one person knew about those feelings: Nathan Scott.

Theirs was a dysfunctional relationship for the ages. But, somehow, she felt safe inside that emotionless high school act. That is all it was, after all – her playing the role of the teenage cheerleader by dating Tree Hill's star basketball player. It wasn't real. If she were to choose reality, it would mean sacrificing the outwardly picture-perfect life she'd built for herself. She could so easily be shunned from her queen-like position of the high school. How would Brooke react? Would she cast her aside for a more conventional best friend? One she didn't have to tiptoe around, unsure about what to say or do? Peyton didn't think she could handle it – she couldn't watch some her friends back off and others feel uncomfortable with her mere presence. Reality wasn't worth letting go of the simulation.

Nathan was clueless the entire time they were together. Then again, he barely heard what she said aloud, let alone catch on to her internal conversations. He was too busy thinking about basketball. The sport dominated his life, and she was simply an accessory. When they weren't discussing his basketball career, they were either fighting or "making up." It wasn't until after they ended, during the Boy Toy Charity Auction, that she let him in on this hidden hindrance to their former relationship. She was desperate to get it out there, and Nathan Scott, of all people, was willing to listen.

So now here she was – ironically outted from a relationship that did not truly exist. While she and Lexxi had admittedly spent an abnormal amount of time together over the last week, their interactions were strictly platonic. Lucky for her, the other girl didn't shy away when the rumours began. If anything, she warmed up to Peyton even more. And surprisingly, Peyton let her.

When Lexxi was around, Brooke faded to the back of her mind and freed her of remorse. Peyton felt guilty, at first, about allowing the best friend she'd betrayed slip away like that. But eventually, that guilt died too. And although she might not be happy (Peyton felt like she'd lost that right), with Lexxi as her guide, Peyton was finding her way out of the darkness.

--

Peyton awkwardly followed Lexxi into the oversized house. It had taken the brunette two days of constant nagging to convince her to make an appearance. Peyton held a few reservations about the whole idea.

"_Brooke will be there. You know she won't make it an easy night for either one of us," she'd said. Lexxi was quick to retort, "I've been to enough of these that I know Brooke's pattern. She'll totally be preoccupied after the first hour. We'll go late." Peyton quickly thought of a second defence. "You'll be the only person there that I actually talk to. You'd have to hang around me the whole night… I'd be a burden." Lexxi shook her head and laughed. "The burden would be having to deal with dim-headed jocks and their groupies without you. Really, you'd be doing me a favour." That left Peyton grappling for one last excuse. "What about the rumours? People will see us there together and talk and it'll only get worse." To that, Lexxi raised an eyebrow and said, "Well if it's inevitable, we'd better give them something good to talk about."_

"Hey Jim!" her companion said, hugging the boy who'd let them in. Lexxi motioned for her to step further inside the house. Peyton simply gave the boy an upwards nod in greeting and allowed her eyes to wander nervously. As her green orbs explored the area that invoked past memories, they quickly caught on to the person that so harshly brought her back to the present. Brooke Davis stared right down at her from her position on the staircase. _Apparently we weren't late enough, _thought Peyton. It wasn't until she felt Lexxi's tug on her hand that she was able to tear herself away. A thick tension seemed to materialize from that gaze. It was one that she couldn't really define, and one that she didn't care to. Not right now.

As she made her way to the kitchen with Lexxi, she felt her classmates' eyes burn into her. Or maybe that was just her being paranoid. The brunette reached into the fridge to pull out a couple of beers. Her friend popped the first one open and offered it to her. "_Pour toi,_" she said with a small smile.

"Thanks," Peyton responded, grabbing the bottle and downing the contents in a matter of seconds.

Lexxi just watched her at first, the grin still painted on her face. Once Peyton had contributed to the growing collection of empty bottles on the kitchen counter, Lexxi brought her own bottle to her lips. "Well, if that's how you wanna play it tonight…" she said huskily, and followed the blonde's lead.

Peyton reached past the other girl to open the fridge again and grab a couple more. "You're gonna try to keep up with me? I'd be careful. I've had a lot of practise," she said, returning the girl's smile.

"Don't you underestimate me, Peyton Sawyer." Lexxi wiped her upper lip off with her sleeve before discarding her bottle. "I'm full of surprises."

Peyton passed her another bottle. "I'm sure you are," she said.

As if to prove her point, Lexxi reached for the beer, but took her time grabbing hold. Her fingertips first made contact with Peyton's wrist, and then slid slowly down the back of the blonde's hand. She never broke eye contact. She never lost the smile, but it did somehow become less innocent. She finally pried the object from Peyton's hand. Meanwhile, Peyton's head began to reel. It took her a moment to drop her arm to her side. Lexxi's actions caught her off-guard, and she didn't immediately know how she felt about them. She knew she probably had the "deer in headlights" look working for her right now: eyes wide, lips parted, body stiff – she told herself to snap out of it.

She took another gulp of beer before trying to lighten their current situation. "So, uh, you weren't lying about wanting to give them something to talk about," she joked.

Lexxi shrugged and her eyes fluttered to the side for a second, as if considering that response. "This isn't really about them."

Peyton's jaw dropped again and she tensed. She was completely unprepared for this. Alcohol would make it better. She chugged the remainder of her beer before deciding that she'd need something heavier. On the counter next to her was a half-empty bottle of vodka. _This is not healthy, _she thought. She couldn't stop herself. Right now she was so far beyond uncomfortable. If she kept this up, she'd feel moderately okay within fifteen minutes.

"Then, uh, what's it about?" she asked, pouring the clear alcohol into a plastic cup. She contemplated the cola bottle sitting next to it. Not tonight.

Lexxi moved so that she was directly in front of Peyton. She waited for the other girl to look up from the drink in her hands. "Well, the fact that I think you're beautiful? And more interesting than anyone I've ever met. And I don't care what people would say to that."

Peyton sipped the vodka straight, her expression unwavering. For the first time tonight, Peyton saw vulnerability in the typically over-confident girl. Lexxi was desired by essentially the entire male student body but wasn't interested in them; Lexxi wanted her. And Peyton couldn't deny that she was flattered. After all, Lexxi was gorgeous and sweet and definitely one of the edgier cheerleaders – which was a plus in Peyton's books. She was everything that Peyton should be looking for. Not only that, but Peyton knew that she'd be proud to walk down the halls holding the other girl's hand. That said a lot. And it should be enough, right? She gulped and took another swig of the vodka.

"You, uh, wanna go somewhere quieter?" she asked, her bright eyes flickering between the ground and the brunette in front of her.

Her response seemed to make Lexxi glow. A hand was offered to her, and hesitantly, Peyton took it. As Lexxi tugged her back in the direction they came, Peyton gulped down the rest of the hard alcohol. She was already feeling more confident – that is, until they reached the base of the stairs. When Lexxi took the first step up, Peyton halted.

The brunette spun around after feeling her companion's resistance. "What's wrong?" she asked, and the glow faded.

"It's just… Brooke's up there," Peyton explained. "I saw her when we came in."

Lexxi rolled her eyes. "Peyton, there must be, like, fifteen rooms up there. So we avoid the ones with closed doors. Big deal."

Peyton knew she was right. The house was big enough for all of them. So, why the apprehension? "Yeah… no, you're right. Sorry, minor brain lapse."

Lexxi smiled in satisfaction and continued up the stairs, and Peyton followed passively behind her. "It's okay. Your concern for Brooke is cute. I like being your protector."

"Well, it's a full-time job," Peyton said, calmness starting to settle in again. "You'd better like doing it."

"Hey, I meant to ask you – were you and Brooke ever like… an item?"

"What?! God no. Where'd you get that from?"

"I dunno… it was just a feeling I got. And now the tension between you two is unbearable. I mean, it's almost sexual. I had to ask."

By now they were walking through the main hallway. As they had climbed the stairs, Peyton's vision began to blur. She may have stumbled a bit on the landing, but Lexxi didn't seem to notice. She knew the vodka was hitting her all at once. "No, no, no. Brooke's my best friend, or she was until I screwed it up. We weren't, like, together together." Peyton scrunched up her nose as she considered that. "Weird… you really got that vibe?"

Lexxi glanced over her shoulder at the girl who was still a couple steps behind. She held her finger up to her lips as if to say, okay, bring it down a notch or two. Peyton hadn't noticed her volume increase. "You're nearly shouting," Lexxi snickered. Her words came out in a whisper as if to level off Peyton's alcohol-induced voice.

"Sorry," Peyton said in a tone that attempted to match Lexxi's.

The brunette stopped in front of an open doorway and slowly backed in through the threshold, pulling Peyton with her. "It's okay. You'd just better be sober enough now that you won't freak later."

"Well I was when I made this decision, right?" the blonde questioned.

"Yeah, but then you proceeded to drink, like, half a mickey of vodka in under two minutes."

Peyton shook her head. "Just to calm the nerves. You're intimidating."

"I don't mean to be."

"But you…" Lexxi silenced the blonde with her lips. In quick, jerky movements, Lexxi stopped her backwards glide, placed Peyton's hands around her back, and then brought her own up to the other girl's face. Peyton managed to melt into the other girl almost immediately. She had to tell her mind to stop racing and her limbs to relax. After that it was easy. She maneuvered Lexxi a final few steps to the bed, not breaking contact. Her tongue explored the other girl's mouth as they both slid backwards to be more fully supported by the bed. _This isn't so scary, _Peyton thought. But that could have been the alcohol talking.

"What is this?" Uttered from the doorway, the words weren't very loud. They didn't have to be. They held such power, such conviction, that Peyton flew from the bed and rendered Lexxi speechless. Peyton felt as though she'd done something inconceivably wrong, and now she'd have to plead for her life.

"Brooke…" Peyton started, her voice rising again.

"So it was true." Brooke's tone remained low and monotonous. Peyton almost wished she'd scream.

"No! Well, I mean it wasn't, but then… we just…" Peyton stumbled over her response. She only succeeded in making herself more frustrated. Mostly because she didn't understand what was going on herself.

Brooke's hazel eyes danced with anger. "You don't need to explain, Peyton. It's your life. And I'm _glad _not to be a part of it anymore." The brunette let a beat pass as she took in the scene before her for a final time, and then retreated down the hallway.

As she did, Peyton's features morphed from fear to confusion… and then finally, a shared rage. "Hey! Wait a second!" The blonde stomped out of the room after her ex-friend, forgetting about the girl she left lying disoriented on the bed. "That's right! It is my life and I can be with whoever the hell I wanna be with." The other girl kept walking, without so much as a glance in Peyton's direction. "Listen to me!" She grabbed the head cheerleader's arm and forcefully spun her to bring them face-to-face again. "Why do you even care?"

Brooke retracted her arm. Her expression was still like stone; her eyes still aflame. "We were best friends for over ten years, Peyton. This is just another thing you kept from me, another lie to add to the list. And I _never _kept _anything _from you," her voice was practically venomous now. Peyton really wished she'd scream. She knew this tone. The only reason Brooke wasn't yelling was that if she tried, she'd break.

"I didn't want to keep it from you! I'm still figuring it out, Brooke."

Brooke gulped as she struggled to keep her tears at bay. "And Lucas?" she asked. "How does he play into all this?"

Peyton shrugged, "A distraction?"

"And Lexxi?"

A ghost of a smile formed across Peyton's lips. "She's a first."

Brooke's vulnerability began to seep through her stone cold mask. She said nothing, as though contemplating her next response.

Peyton watched her ex-friend closely. The brunette's lips were pursed, her eyes flicked up and to the left, in thought. "Okay. What is it?" she asked. "I know you have another question."

A beat. "Why wasn't it me?" Her steady voice failed her. She finally cracked. "Why her and not me?"

--

((I covered a lot of ground right there, I hope you all managed to keep up ;) I'm leaving you all cliff-hangered simply because I want to get into Brooke's mind for the rest of this conversation. I think more explaining will be needed from her perspective than Peyton's. Thank you SO much for all the encouraging reviews last week.

**Risen2Fall**** – **I'll forgive your tardiness ;) Thanks for joining the party and I'm glad you like the story so far!

**Sheepish123 – **How's THAT for angst? Haha. Ohhh I can't get enough of that particular form either.

**Athenax5424 – **Oh man, you are not kidding. Peyton on the show just cannot let things lie! She makes me royally angry sometimes, haha. So yeah, even if Peyton WERE in love with Brooke (which is open to interpretation right now – you aren't missing anything), she wouldn't be moving on so fast I don't think.

**Augustmajestic – **Fade the angst? I don't know if I'm capable of doing that. Maybe someday… but not in the next update :p Considering my update obsession, you won't have to wait too, too long.

**WantTakeHave – **I think it's safe to say that Brooke has hit the jealousy mark ;) Consider her awakened. As for Peyton… well, we'll see about that.

**Othnaleyfan4 – **I love how you shorten Peyton's name when you talk about her, haha. You clearly feel some sort of connection with the character, huh? How was my normal-but-angsty-and-occasionally-drunk Peyton? :)

**Tigger-Babe – **Ahh! Thank you for mentioning Brooke's thoughts while she was with the guy. That was totally my favourite part to write, haha. I liked it too. I take that "subtle" to be sarcastic lol.

**BleedLikeMe – **My first Lexxi hater. I understand your frustration, really, I do ;) I don't think you're crazy. It's tough to watch someone come in between those two. But, it needed to be done. It's for your own good.

**FinalHybrid – **Thanks for giving me the go-ahead to take my time… apparently that didn't work. It probably should've. Damn I should start studying.

**Melovedk, Rain1657, E. Christianna, ****Physcob2002, JennVanessa – **thanks as always! I can see Lexxi's popularity is on the decline here. I'm kinda happy about that – my intention was to form a character that everyone loves and hates at the same time. I think I'm doing that semi-successfully considering the strong reactions that I'm getting. So yep – my first plot peak and by no means the biggest one. What did you all think?))


	6. Chapter 6

((Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for all your reviews! Apparently that last chapter was a success and it made me really nervous but really excited to continue on. It also brought in some newbies… hello, newbies! I hope you're all fans of my follow-up here. I figured it was only fair that I gave some background information on Brooke too. I don't discriminate based on sexual orientation ;))

--

Brooke was eight years old the first time she kissed a boy. His name was Ricky Almeida and he preceded Nathan Scott as King of Tree Hill Elementary. With the jungle gym as her imaginary garden arch, she pecked his lips and left him staggered with her gap-toothed smile. Then she ran. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her to her best friend. To Peyton. She bragged to mini-Sawyer that she had just "made out" with Ricky and that he'd be her first boyfriend.

Brooke shuddered thinking back on that day. While she and Ricky did make plans to "go on a date," they never did fall into place. The call came that night. She'd always remember Peyton's shaking voice on the other end of that fragmented conversation. Brooke could practically hear her friend convulse with the tears as she fought to get full sentences out. The young blonde couldn't say the words, but Brooke knew. Peyton's mom was dead. She spent every night with Peyton for weeks after that. Ricky Almeida didn't stand a chance.

When she was thirteen, Brandon Plunkett entered her life. He was her first real boyfriend. They went out for three months before she found out he held that title with four other girls at the same time. Peyton slugged him in the hallway the next day and the principal suspended her for a week. Dillon Forsyth took over at age fourteen. He was a high school senior and she was the only freshman to be dating one. She felt inherently cooler and prettier when she was around him. She also felt like she was forced to be someone she wasn't. If there were a definitive moment that made her into the Tree Hill High Queen, that would be it. Dillon stole her pride, her naiveté, and her virginity. When he dumped her, he left her a hollowed-out version of the person she used to be. It took Peyton months to reshape her into the girl she knew as her best friend.

After that there was Taylor, Bobby, Colin, Derek and Samuel (they were brothers), Hayden, Zach, and Giorgio. And those were just the ones she considered "boyfriends." When Colin fled because of a pregnancy scare, Peyton held her hand in the examination room. When Zach adopted stalker-like tendencies, Peyton became her live-in protector. And when Derek verbally assaulted her for cheating on him with Samuel, Peyton chastised her for her dumb mistake, and then told Derek where to go and how she'd help him get there. Derek never bugged her again.

And then there was Lucas Scott – the sweet, blonde-haired boy that didn't want her for her body or her popularity. He was also the only boy to ever turn down her naked-in-the-backseat ploy. He gave her permission to be herself, and in turn she gave him a piece of her heart.

"_He meant everything to me, Peyton. And I was about to try being his friend if that's what he needed. Now I don't really care if I see either one of you again."_

Those _were _the words she used, right? When she'd voiced them six months ago, she'd meant them. But looking back on that torturous conversation, her words no longer felt honest – they felt like a copout. Up until that moment, Brooke was sure she'd harboured a broken heart before. She was wrong. Nothing she'd ever experienced with those other men compared to what she felt at that moment. Hopelessness and detachment joined the emptiness that she'd become accustomed to. She felt herself disconnect; Brooke Davis was no longer in the room. She stepped out of her body and just observed because that was the only way to dull the pain. For the first time in her life, Brooke was an outsider.

The flood of emotions hit her with such intensity that Brooke was incapable of deconstructing them. Her rational side told her that Lucas was the one to directly break her heart, and Peyton only by association. So that was the excuse that came out – _Lucas _meant everything to her. _Peyton _stole him away, thereby taking the source of all her happiness. The only explanation for the war raging in her heart was that the "love" she'd felt for those other guys was simply a mirage. Lucas was the real thing. But she wondered, why couldn't she tell the imitation feelings apart from the authentic ones until it was over?

This time Peyton wasn't there to mend the pieces back together when Brooke fell apart. Peyton was the hand that pushed her over and shattered her. The girl had always been her constant – the boys flew in and out of her life, but Peyton always remained. Brooke realized that now. She was solving the equation: The difference between Lucas and the other guys was her best friend. Peyton did more than betray her friendship. If it had been that simple, Brooke would be angry. She would be hurt. She would have a hard time taking her back, but it could be done. What Peyton did surpassed all of that.

Peyton broke her heart.

--

_"Why her and not me?"_

The question was one of raw impulse. It had been floating in her head until Peyton called her on her hesitation. It was too late to censor now; the question emerged exactly the way she'd wondered it seconds before.

"Are you even gay, Brooke?" Peyton asked incredulously, taken aback by the brunette's question.

Brooke shifted uncomfortably and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, no…"

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" It didn't take Peyton long to switch back into offensive mode. Her soft tone gradually escalated to a loud roar, and the occasional slur reminded Brooke that alcohol also played a part in this conversation. "You will say _anything _to make me into the bad guy. You treated me like shit for _months, _Brooke. And I took it because, you're right, I messed up. But I can't do this with you anymore! I'm tired of your guilt trip games, and your cursing, and the way you just _avoid_ me if I haven't done anything wrong lately."

"Peyton…"

"Don't. I will _not _feel bad about this. I did nothing wrong." The anger started to fade from her eyes now. Brooke couldn't blame her for that reaction. Void of context, the question could have elicited a different answer. But everything Peyton said was true. Brooke ignored and taunted her for six months. To her best friend, this question was just one more way to take a stab at her heart.

"I'm not _asking _you to feel bad. If you'd let me get a sentence out you'd know that!"

"Then… what do you want?" Peyton asked, clearly confused with this novel concept. Her eyes wide, the girl now looked more like a lost child than the infuriated warrior she'd been a moment before.

"Could you just _please_ answer the question?" Brooke groaned. When she didn't get a response right away, she softened. "I just need to know."

Peyton shrugged. "You were my best friend," she said, her lips curling into a smile void of happiness. "And I wasn't ready to admit it to you back then. But if I was… you meant _so _much to me, Brooke. I would never have risked all that for something that I didn't even understand. You were just… you were too important."

As silence filled the hallway, Brooke held her ex-friend's gaze. A crooked smile conveyed that she would accept that answer. Finally, Brooke took a breath and slid down the wall to slump into a sitting position. "What happened to us, P. Sawyer?" she asked, staring blankly at the wall in front of her instead of the blonde next to her.

Peyton followed her ex-friend's lead, albeit less gracefully, to sit on the hard wood of the hallway right next to the brunette. "High school?" she offered.

Brooke nodded. "I hate high school," she muttered.

"No you don't," Peyton said, her tone non-threatening. "You thrive on it."

"Maybe I did, once. But that girl is gone, Peyt. I mean, look at us," her hazel eyes flicked up to the girl next to her now. "No offense, but you're a drunken mess all the time and I'm just… the high school slut."

"Well if it helps, you make a very pretty high school slut," Peyton joked, and then flinched when Brooke elbowed her in the ribs.

"Hey! If I remember correctly, you're supposed to console me." Brooke jabbed a finger in the other girl's direction.

Peyton shook her head. "That hasn't been my job for a long time."

The brunette pouted involuntarily. She didn't like that answer.

"But hey," Peyton continued, her voice hopeful. "Does this mean you forgive me? I mean, you have to – I told you everything I swore you'd only hear when you let me off the hook."

Brooke knocked the Peyton's shoulder with her own. "Yeah, I forgive you, Peyton Marie Sawyer."

"But…" Peyton helped out.

Of course. Peyton could sense her 'but.' Brooke sighed and turned her body to face the blonde. "So much has happened, Peyt. Do you think we can ever be those girls again? With the sleepovers and the best friend secrets and special mind-reading powers? Is it even possible anymore?"

Peyton looked down as she fidgeted with her hands. "We hurt each other a lot this year, Brooke. And that pain isn't just gonna disappear. And I'd really like to think that we can get past that but…"

Peyton's sentence trailed off, and Brooke nodded to show she understood. "So, what do we do now?" she asked.

"Well, you could start by not being such a bitch to Lexxi," Peyton suggested in a sarcastically chipper attitude.

Brooke scowled. "Oh yeah, her."

Peyton nudged her friend. "Hey now, _that _is exactly what I'm talking about. She's really not so bad. And I'm kinda dating her so it'd be nice if my _friend _would play nice from now on."

_They're dating?! I thought it was just some kind of no-strings-attached experimental thing. Lexxi is totally not girlfriend material. Mindless sex and casual flings, that's Lexxi. Peyton would SO slap me if she could read my mind. God Brooke! Stop thinking like this. _

"Okay," Brooke agreed. "I'll _tolerate _Lexxi… if you give up alcohol."

"Oh, I can _so _give up alcohol! And you have to do more than tolerate, Brooke. If you want this friendship thing to work, you're gonna have to follow my rules." Peyton smirked, proud of herself for finally being in a position of control.

Brooke's jaw dropped. "Is Peyton Sawyer giving _me _orders?"

"Damn straight. And your first order… go out with me and Lexxi on Wednesday night. And leave bitchy-Brooke at home."

"Fine, but if you two start getting grabby with each other, I'm outta there." That wasn't just a threat. Brooke didn't think she could handle seeing the two of them together the way she'd seen them tonight. Hell, seeing them in the same room was hard enough. _This is bad. Fucking heart! Why Peyton?! _The girl that had decided years ago that Brooke wasn't even an option.

"Jealous much?" Peyton asked playfully.

"Ha! You wish. Besides, I have… Greg! Which reminds me, he's waiting for me back in his room. I need to go." The brunette stood quickly and Peyton followed, once again. As Brooke took off down the hallway, she called over her shoulder, "Oh and Peyton? Might wanna close the door this time." She stopped momentarily. "The drunken yelling was bad enough. I don't wanna hear what comes next."

With that, Brooke disappeared into the bedroom next to her and shut the door. She took a second to lean back and close her eyes, not wanting to face reality. What happened out there was anything but. Pushing herself off the door, she stormed over to the bed that Greg lay on, waiting for her.

"Okay, that's it. Pants on!"

--

((Well this part was definitely tougher to write. The last chapter came so easily in comparison! And actually, I totally scrapped my first draft of this chapter (from the conversation onwards) and rewrote. I hope you like this version… in my original, they were going to have continued fighting and left each other angry. But I felt like in that case there was next to no progress and decided to go this route.

**BleedLikeMe – **Your review put me in, like, the greatest but slightly egotistical mood ever! Haha. I'm so glad Brooke's lines rang true to people that weren't me. Oh! And thank you for adding my story to your faves list! (And everyone else that did that week one when I had no idea that they meant anything).

**Sheepish123 – **Yay! Procrastination paid off. No problem, I'd love to ignore my school obligations for One Tree Hill fanfic anytime. Soooo bad. But true.

**Luke-n-Peyton – **Aww, thank you for reading/actually liking my story despite it not being about your core couple. I hear ya though. I'm mostly a Brucas fan myself, but I'm getting so bored of it all. Brooke and Peyton would be refreshing.

**FinalHybrid – **LOL! You need not be conflicted anymore. My last exam was on Saturday (i.e. the day after I posted the last chapter) I couldn't have procrastinated any more if I wanted to. I don't even have a freaking summer job. Man I'll have a lot of time to write this fiction :p Thanks for your review!

**Kaila5707 – **I am also so happy that you found my story! Your enthusiasm makes me happy, haha. Thanks for adding the story to your faves list. Hope you like the chapter :)

**Rain1657 – **An outburst you say? Ahh! I just want to hug all of you that have urges to physically react to my story. I'm hoping that I'm managing to maintain my unpredictability. And also stay in character. Two things that are hard to have co-exist.

And thanks to my other reviewers (you know who you are ;) who I unfortunately don't have the time to write individual messages to right now cause I'm in a bit of a hurry. I'm sorry! I'm also sorry I couldn't make Brooke explain her question in more detail. Still too soon and, luckily, Peyton's too intoxicated to take note of HOW Brooke asked :) So… Let me know what you think!))


	7. Chapter 7

((UPDATEEEE! Sorry it took so long, guys. This was a busy couple of weeks. I moved into an apartment with a high school friend of mine and out of the one I shared with my old roommate who I looooved, and I was kinda depressed a little about that. Ex-roomie and I took time off work and just hung out during our last week, so I got no writing time. But I finally managed to write this over the weekend. So, as always, thank you SOOO much for your reviews and let me know what you think!))

--

"I cannot _believe _you're making me do this."

"And I can't believe you're still whining about it," Peyton retorted, looking over her shoulder at her girlfriend. Her eyes were on Lexxi, her hands ruffled through the mediocre dress collection of her closet, but her mind had escaped the safety of her bedroom. She wouldn't admit it, but she was _damn _worried. And nervous. Possible scenarios for her night with Brooke played repetitively in her head, and she couldn't find the stop button. She really wished that Lexxi could just support her in this, but that wasn't going to happen. Lexxi had made that perfectly clear the other night.

--

_"What was that all about?" Lexxi asked, cross-legged at the head of the bed. _

_"Oh that was just Brooke being, I don't know, nostalgic or something," Peyton said from the doorway. In truth, she really didn't know what exactly that was. _

_"Are you sticking with your 'there was nothing between me and Brooke other than friendship' response? Because she more-than-sort-of looked like a scorned lover."_

_Peyton shook her head lightly. "No. In a way it's worse than that. I mean, you hear those words all the time – scorned lover." The blonde pushed the door closed softly before strolling in the direction of the king-sized sleigh bed at the back of the room. "When you give your heart to someone, I think at some level you prepare yourself to be one. But Brooke didn't prepare for what I did to her. She shouldn't have had to. And I guess that's why she's still hurting." Peyton sat at the edge of the bed and gave Lexxi a sad smile. "She's a best friend scorned." _

_Seemingly unaffected by Peyton's words, Lexxi scooted closer to the other girl. "Yeah well, it still doesn't give her the right to treat you the way she does. You're clearly upset and filled with guilt about the whole thing. That makes you a good person. And friend. And screw her if she can't see that! From now on, it'll be you and me." Lexxi propelled herself forward to a kneeling position next to Peyton and leaned in to kiss her._

_"Actually, we're going out with her next Wednesday," Peyton said, halting the other girl's movements._

_Lexxi jerked back, eyes wide. "You're kidding." It was more an order than a question. _

_Peyton turned herself more fully onto the bed, bringing one leg up from the floor. "Look, I know this is weird, but she said she wanted to try the friendship thing again and I know it'll be complicated and hard and probably awkward but I couldn't say no because…" through her rant, a genuine smile emerged as she realized she needed to take a breath, "…she's just still really important to me. And now I know that my life can go on without her, but I really hope it doesn't have to."_

_Lexxi rolled her eyes. "Well I'm not going. Peyton, she's ignored and insulted you for the last six months, and all she has to do is snap her fingers and poof! You forget about all that? I refuse to go along with this."_

_"Hey, you're forgetting that I deserved 'all that'! And yes, okay, Brooke might have gone a little overboard. But if she's willing to forgive me, then I am _certainly _willing to overlook her revenge tactics."_

_Lexxi shook her head. "I'm not buying it. Besides, if you and Brooke wanna, like, rekindle your "friendship" or whatever," she said using air quotes, "I doubt that bringing me into the mix is the best way to do it. She hated me before any of this even happened. I don't even wanna know what she thinks of me now."_

_"And I get that, but the thing is," Peyton shut her eyes, trying to think about how to word her next comment, "I kinda need you. Brooke and I, as much as we want to, we can't just go back in the past and erase everything we did to each other. Just the thought of spending a night with her without all the verbal sparring and stuff… it scares me a little. But if you're there," she reached out to grasp Lexxi's hand in her own. Her eyes stayed fixed on their intertwined hands rather than lifting them back up to the ones she could feel pierce into her, "well, then maybe it won't be so bad."_

_When she raised her gaze to Lexxi's face, she knew that she'd finally broken through the other girl's resolve. "Fine," the taller girl concurred. "But I'm warning you, you cannot hold me accountable for any of my behaviour during this bizarro-world play date."_

--

Convincing Lexxi to come with her proved to be the easy part. Forcing her out of attack mode, that was something Peyton had yet to accomplish. As it was, Lexxi would be entering _Musik _tonight with guns blazing and a known target to shoot at. _This seemed like a much better idea when I was drunk. _Oh yeah! And her usual escape method was out of the question. She'd promised Brooke that she wouldn't touch alcohol. She wouldn't let her down again. This meant that the whole night could be a disaster – there could be hair-pulling, name-calling, bitch-slapping… any number of things, and Peyton would have to deal. Sober.

"So what is this place we're going to again?"

Peyton grabbed a couple of hangers from the closet and examined the dresses on each. "It's called _Musik. _It's more Brooke's scene than mine. Y'know, over-crowded dance floors, hip-hop and top 40 mixes, horny guys in their twenties looking to get laid."

"Sounds like a blast," Lexxi commented sarcastically. She swung her feet over the edge of the bed and joined Peyton in front of the closet.

"Yeah well, right now I still have to play by Brooke's rules. I feel like I owe her that."

"You owe her nothing. You two should wipe your histories clean and start from square one if you want this friendship to work." Lexxi stole one of the hangers from her girlfriend's grasp and tossed it on the bed. "Okay, that blue satiny thing is transparent, so we'll need, ooh, this grey V-neck and where's that brown mini-skirt of yours? Yes. And you'll totally need a brown belt to make the blue dress-shirt thing cling to your body." As she listed each item, she tossed it over her shoulder in the general direction of Peyton's bed.

In her usual defiant spirit, Peyton would have readily rejected Lexxi's suggestions. Then again, she would also have spent under five minutes rummaging through her closet rather than tonight's half hour. Of that, she might have spent a quarter actually paying attention to the clothes she was gazing at. The rest of her time was spent staring blankly, and using her wardrobe dilemma as a cover for her incessant Brooke-related worries. So tonight, she was thankful for Lexxi's fashion advice.

For months she'd waited for Brooke to give in and offer her a second chance. Every day for half a year she'd remember the look on Brooke's face when she confronted her about Lucas. Most nights she wouldn't drift to sleep; she'd pass out. And just when she was prepared to let go of the best friend she'd deceived and try to let herself be happy, Brooke had to swoop in, spontaneous as ever, and forgive her. Unfortunately, Peyton had a 'but': What if Brooke was putting on an act? This could just be a malicious scheme to make her pay – make her think that the friendship could survive and then tear it to shreds all over again. Just thinking of that possibility made Peyton's heart ache. She wanted to trust Brooke. She wanted to believe her. She couldn't, and she despised herself for that.

"Peyton? Peyton!"

The blonde snapped her head in Lexxi's direction. "Huh? What? Sorry just… zoned out."

"Yeah, no kidding. Your phone's ringing," Lexxi said, her hand slipping behind Peyton to grab the flip phone out of her back pocket. With a glance at the caller ID, Lexxi sighed. "It's the other woman." She tossed the phone in the air and sauntered back over to the bed.

"Hey Brooke," Peyton said into the phone, rolling her eyes at Lexxi.

"Hey! Just wondering how everything's going in your bat cave of a bedroom? Everything okay? You with Lexxi? She didn't happen to get shipped to boarding school or hit by a bus or anything?"

"Yeah, she's here and in good health… and she'd better stay that way tonight. What are you up to? Are you gonna come by before we head to _Musik_?"

"Uh, _Musik_, that's actually what I'm calling you about…"

Peyton froze as she took in Brooke's hesitant tone. She could practically feel the colour drain from her face. _No! You can't back out on me now_. The blonde's throat burned, and she knew that her tears would fall if Brooke bailed tonight. She just hoped they'd be silent. "Okay, Brooke? I feel the need to warn you – if you cancel on me tonight, you can say goodbye to the girls at the top of the pyramid on Friday."

"Watch it, P. Sawyer! Day one of our renewed friendship and you're already blackmailing me… I don't think I can handle moving right back in to our old routines. At this rate, I'll be waking up tomorrow with itchy blonde curls scratching my face and a severe lack of covers because _someone _spends the whole night slowly stealing them away."

"Hey! At least I don't kick and slap in my sleep! God, it's like you're a four-year-old trying to make snow angels or something," Peyton countered, smiling. She didn't miss the bemused expression on Lexxi's face.

"Well, you won't have to worry about that tonight, will you? I'll bet Lexxi lets you do whatever you want in bed. Anyway! I just wanted to know if it's cool if I bring someone?"

Peyton didn't know why the question surprised her. Of course Brooke would hate feeling like the third wheel. It was only logical. Furthermore, she had no idea why it took her so long to formulate a response. "Um… yeah. Sure. Why not?" She stumbled over the words before uttering the one that burned at the back of her mind. "Who?"

"Jordan. Exchange student from Denmark. Super hot," Brooke chirped, clearly pleased with her catch of the day.

"Okay, well I guess we'll meet you and Jordan there. And hey, if you get there first, make sure you keep an eye out for us. I don't want you making out in the back corner where it would be impossible to find you… even if we wanted to."

Brooke mock gasped. "You really have been without me for too long. You should know corners aren't my thing. But I make no promises about what I'll be doing on the dance floor."

"Alright, alright. We'll search. Just open an eye every now and then so I don't have to pry you off of him."

"Deal. Later, Sawyer!"

Peyton flipped the phone shut and spun to face Lexxi. Holding her breath, she forced a smile onto her face. "Good news… we have a double date."

Lexxi raised an eyebrow. "And how is that good news?"

"Well, it's good for you 'cause Brooke will be distracted all night. So I guess we won't be doing the… rekindling friendship thing. I know you weren't exactly keen on that."

"Peyton, it doesn't matter what I want. This is about you and Brooke and if you want to enter the world of high-risk friendships again, that's your call." The brunette smirked. "Besides, four's a crowd. If you need me to get rid of the guy, just say the word. I'm sure there's a Starbucks down the street open late. Or maybe a greasy fast food joint. We can totally peace if you want new-old best friend time."

During times like these, Peyton wondered why she was so afraid. Abusive boyfriends, those are scary. Realizing you fell out of love with someone that worships you can be distressing. Or knowing that the other person is still waiting for their soulmate and you're nothing short of a layover – that is downright terrifying. Being with Lexxi should be easy. But as much as Peyton reasoned and rationalized and inwardly fought with herself again and again, her relationship with Lexxi didn't get simpler. She still felt threatened and, somehow, vulnerable. _That's it. I'm self-destructive. There's no other possible explanation. Man, I'm weak._

Peyton grinned at her girlfriend and silently pep talked herself to keep up the strong-and-independent demeanour. She hated feeling exposed. "Thanks," she said and grabbed her keys. "Guess I'm driving tonight."

"Yeaaaah, sorry babe. If I'm gonna spend a whole night with Brooke Davis, you're on your own for this whole no-drinking thing."

"Figured."

--

Wednesday night. Midnight. Dance floor at _Musik _practically empty, and one Brooke Davis standing solo beneath flashing lights. The small attendance could be expected because, really? A Wednesday? But seeing Brooke alone was something Peyton paused to absorb.

"Hey. She must have finally slept with all the guys in Tree Hill and resorted to the imaginary type," Lexxi quipped from behind her. "Let's go meet the fellow, shall we?"

Peyton rolled her eyes and slapped the brunette's chest playfully with the back of her hand. "Just when I think you've developed that thing called empathy, you prove me wrong again. C'mon. With this attitude, I just can't wait for all the fun to start," she smirked and slid her hand around the other girl's waist, tugging her forward.

Brooke brightened as they approached and let out a small shriek. "You're here! And you're in luck, 'cause it's way too early to make any sort of display on the dance floor," she said, and leaned in closer to mumble the rest. "I mean, some people don't have any class."

Lexxi choked out a laugh and she received a glare from Peyton. The message was clear: "don't say a word."

"So where's Jordan?" Peyton asked, changing the topic so that Lexxi wouldn't get a chance to retort.

"At the bar," Brooke said with a shrug, before looking over her shoulder. The cheerleader's flirtatious smile surfaced as a tall blonde walked towards the group holding a beer and some sort of fruity cooler with more sugar than alcohol. Brooke pecked the blonde and snatched the cooler. "Hey girlfriend," she sighed.

Peyton gapped at the model-like woman who'd attached herself to Brooke. _Jordan?? _She found herself short of breath; her lungs seemed to be closing off and the air in here was too hot to take in, regardless. Peyton was at a loss for words. _What the hell is this about? Brooke isn't gay… I mean, she wasn't last weekend. _She felt faint and dizzy. She wasn't even drinking. Her greatest fear crept right back into her mind and consumed it. _She can't be serious. This is just another way to get back at me for Lucas. It has to be. But then… how exactly does she plan to do that? _Lexxi exhaled close to her ear.

"Okay, I was wrong. She didn't resort to make-believe people."

--

((Okay, who saw that coming? I know at least one of you did. Brooke will explain all in my next update :)

_**melovedk **_– Yes! Finally some progress in Breyton's relationship! I only have so much resolve.

_**Sheerobsession **_– I'll keep your desire to ditch Lexxi in mind, haha. It's sorta inevitable I guess… just a question of when. Hmmm..

_**Tigger **_– I got lazy and decided to shorten your name from now on. Glad you liked the Brooke background! Haha… Biology. Breyton. I think I'd know what'd win out with me. Good self-control!

_**JennVanessa **_– Thank you! Glad you really liked the last chapter.

_**BleedLikeMe**_** – **I also know from experience that being where Brooke is sucks. Admittedly, I stole a couple lines from real-life conversations I've had… but who doesn't do that? Oooh, another Brucas fan? Fancy meeting you here ;) How cute was that scene at the end of last week's episode? With the sleeping and the child and… awe.

_**Sheepish**_ – I couldn't get to the fireworks this time around, but hang in there and I'll make this outing worth your wait. And thanks for liking my humour. It doesn't always work, haha.

_**FinalHybrid **_– I also hope that Brooke's jealousy won't lead to more fighting… at least, no significantly damaging fighting. That could get old.

_**Craftyns **_– Thank you! Yes. She would have benefited from being a little more sober, but that time will come.

_**Amazoniandragon **_– Thank you! I'm glad you're liking it, and I'm totally flattered that it's among your faves. There are some pretty good writers on here. I'm just trying to keep up!

_**Rain **_– Well, the temptation is there to just make them jump each other in pretty much any scene I have them in… or break into a fight apparently. It's harder to stop myself from that. I hope I keep on making decent choices. Just slap me if I don't ;)

_**Spashley **_– I may be underestimating Peyton's intelligence at this point, haha. Sorry she hasn't figured it out yet.

_**Athanax **_– Umm… I think I've misled you somehow. While I am a fan of the Brucas pairing, they are staying the hell away from each other in my beauty-ful Breyton fic!

_**Kaila **_– Well, it is a Breyton fic. If they don't end up together now, I'll be doing it to spite you ;) It better not be childish cause I feel the exact same way when people respond to me!

_**WantTakeHave **_– Yeah, I figured Peyton's lack of response to a blatantly obvious question like that might require some additional explanation. P.S. I _guess _I can forgive you for forgetting about me. I'll actually respond to the PM now that I've gotten this whole thing written.

_**OTH305Degrassi305 **_– Haha, I guess I'll consider letting them be together. Just have patience ;)

And thank you to the few people that added me to favourites lists! Still always flattering :) and definitely appreciated despite the fact that I don't remember who you are.

Later, guys!))


	8. Chapter 8

((Hey guys!! Sooo who's excited for the season finale tonight? Everyone? I figured. Here's something to kick off our finale night. I worked super hard on this chapter, so I hope that paid off!))

_Show time_. For Brooke, this night was a theatrical performance. The dance floor was her stage, the neon flashes were her spotlights, and she, of course, was the leading lady. Since this would be her on-stage debut, she fully intended on perfecting her role. _Thank GOD I've got Jordan. I can totally do this. Focus, B. Davis! _Within a minute of scene one, her co-star had already made an impact on Brooke's audience. Peyton seemed to be stuck in 'stunned' mode. Lexxi switched into her 'normal' gear much quicker. Brooke watched as her replacement whispered something into Peyton's ear. She couldn't hear the comment over Fergie's chanting, but it snapped Peyton out of her trance.

"Hey, Jordan. _Great _to meet you. I'm Lexxi, and this is my girlfriend, Peyton," with a sweet smile, she slapped the blonde's arm to get her to speak.

"Uh, yeah, hey. Brooke, can I talk to you for a second?"

Outwardly, Brooke nodded and put on an expression that said 'I don't have any idea what this could be about.' Inside, she lit up with the possibility that Peyton could be jealous. She had to restrain herself from any joyous prancing. "Sure, what is it, Peyton?"

Peyton looked from Brooke to Jordan to Lexxi, and then led Brooke away by the arm while mumbling to Lexxi that she'd be back. Once they'd reached the bar, Peyton loosened her grip. She didn't say anything right away, she just studied Brooke. Her gaze was wrought with intensity, and Brooke struggled not to crack. It was still too early in the first act to break character.

"Okay, this whole staring thing you've got going tonight is kinda starting to creep me out," Brooke said, leaning against the bar.

"You aren't gay, Brooke!" Peyton exclaimed.

Brooke shrugged. "Yeah, so?"

"So, what's with Jordan?"

"I don't know. She's gorgeous and single and totally into me," Brooke said with a wide smile. "And who says I have to limit myself to only men? You made me realize that I've been casting off something that I haven't even experienced! But," she added, leaning in to Peyton, "between you and me, I'll have that experience by the end of the night."

The head cheerleader winked at Peyton and then headed back to her date. _I should head to LA once high school's over. I could totally do the acting thing_. Silently, she applauded her performance.Peyton had no choice but to follow, absolutely astonished. "So girlfriend, friend who's a girl, Lexxi," Brooke addressed, looking between the three. "Who's up for dancing?"

"There's no one on the dance floor," Peyton stated and crossed her arms.

"Ohhh but there will be," Jordan cut in. She took Brooke's drink from her hand and lay their bottles down on the nearest surface. "We've just gotta give them a reason to join us."

Brooke slid her hand into Jordan's and headed to the centre of the dance floor, briefly glancing over her shoulder to shoot Peyton an over-enthusiastic smile. She felt herself being tugged into a twirl and her attention was immediately back on Jordan. Her hands glided to the taller girl's waist. This was an important scene, one that she needed to execute perfectly. With a sidelong glance, she checked to make sure Peyton was looking on. She was. Brooke gulped, and then forced Jordan towards her.

Their hips moved rhythmically against each other, so close that Brooke could practically feel the friction between them. Her touch fell to the small of Jordan's back. Then she began to lower herself to the floor, her hips gyrating, and Jordan following her lead. During their ascent, legs were interlaced and arms held the other body tight. She could sense that they were no longer alone; multitudes of men had encased them but she couldn't see them. Her face was less than three inches from Jordan's, and to break their eye contact in favour of the guys getting hot and bothered by their performance would be to step out of character. She felt a pair of hands grab her waist and pull her backwards. The faceless man's actions were disrupted by Jordan, who slid her grasp downward to peel his hands from Brooke.

A flash of blonde involuntarily brought Brooke's attention to her left. At some point, Peyton and Lexxi had joined them on the dance floor. Peyton's back was to her girlfriend's chest, and their fingers weaved together against the blonde's stomach. Brooke tried not to let their reality interfere with her dramatic production.

"Just tell me when they're looking," Jordan whispered into her ear.

Shocked, Brooke's gaze flicked up to her dance partner. "What does it matter if they're looking?" she argued, testing Jordan's knowledge.

"You know why it matters. I can see it. Actually, I can't believe she hasn't."

Brooke opened her mouth to protest, but with a last minute change of plans, she decided on "they're looking."

Jordan crashed her lips down to meet Brooke's. Tongues fought, hands grabbed, hips grinded. When she finally broke away, Brooke's palms were cupping Jordan's face and she allowed her eyes to linger on the other woman as she readjusted to her surroundings. _Well, that was…weird. It just better not have looked as forced as it felt. _If the men's howls were any indication, the kiss was a success.

"You okay?" asked Jordan

Brooke nodded and let out a grateful smile. "Yeah. I think I'm done with the dancing for a while, though. Can we go sit down?"

"Sure," Jordan agreed and started to create a path through the sweaty _Musik _men. The girls ignored their groans and objections. Brooke hadn't realized how hot it'd been in the eye of that sexual storm. "So, how long?" Jordan asked as she took a seat on a purple and orange lounge chair.

"How long what?" Brooke decided to play dumb and answer with another question. Part of her was ecstatic that someone had finally figured her out, but that portion was much smaller than the one that shook with terror. She received an eyebrow raise and millisecond glance in Peyton's direction as a response. "Oh, right. That. You mean how long have I loved her, or how long since I stopped being so totally dense that I could actually figure it out?" she asked sarcastically.

Jordan thought about that for a second before shrugging. "Both."

Brooke frowned. Her last question wasn't to be taken seriously. The brunette moaned as she placed her head in her hands. "I don't know!" she whined. "I've felt this way, oh, _ten years_ or something like that. And it just hit me on Saturday… while she was drunk out of her mind and my tongue was shoved down the Tree Hill quarterback's throat." Brooke trembled as she said the words. She wasn't prepared to make this confession tonight. It wasn't in the script.

"And you haven't told her because…" Jordan let her last few syllables linger, silently asking Brooke to delve into further detail.

Pushing her hair out of her eyes, Brooke looked over her shoulder at her one-time best friend. "It's complicated." She watched Peyton and Lexxi dance for another moment before turning back to her date with a bitter laugh. "Who am I kidding? It's completely fucked up, and also a really long story that I probably shouldn't get into in a place like this."

"Why not?"

"Umm, hello?! Loud music, leering male admirers, _Peyton _right behind me?! It's not exactly ideal for an in-depth conversation."

Jordan shrugged. "It wasn't the best setting for the beginning of this discussion either," she argued. "Come on, Brooke. This obviously isn't your typical date. At least help me to understand what's going on here."

Jordan was playing the guilt card, and Brooke knew her date had the right to it. She sighed, finally realizing how selfish and potentially destructive this whole set-up was. The consequences hadn't even crossed her mind in the casting stage, when she asked Jordan out. If the other girl hadn't called her on the Peyton thing, she probably wouldn't have realized her error until hurt feelings were inevitable. "Okay, I'll tell you. But you have to keep watching them, and make sure they don't hear _anything!_" she warned with a pointed finger.

And so Brooke told her about everything: their initial friendship, Lucas, their post-Lucas treatment of each other, Lexxi, and finally, last weekend's conversation. Through the fifteen minute monologue, Jordan listened intently and played watch dog for Peyton and Lexxi. "So you're telling me," Jordan said as Brooke sunk back in her chair, "that you're relying on Peyton's drunken responses to tough, abstract questions as proof that she isn't into you?"

"Well… yeah," Brooke said hesitantly. "But hey, people can be more honest when they're drunk than when they're sober!"

"They can also forget what they said the morning after, _or _completely regret it because it wasn't true! It was just what they were feeling at the time."

Brooke shook her head. "This is different. I mean, I don't know about the you-were-my-best-friend-so-I-couldn't-see-you-that-way thing, but the part about not even knowing if we can be friends again – that scares me, because I agreed with her. Not out loud, but when she said it, something inside me just… clicked, as if I was just _waiting _for it."

"And, I think I have a pretty good idea already, but how do I come into all this?"

Brooke felt the heat creep up into her cheeks. _I am a terrible, terrible person. So much for leaving bitchy-Brooke at home. _"You were supposed to help me figure out how true that first part was – about her only seeing me as a best friend."

A sly smile appeared on Jordan's face. "You are way too far away, babe. I can barely hear you." The blonde vacated her seat and replaced it with Brooke's lap. When Lexxi and Peyton joined the couple seconds later, the head cheerleader's confusion immediately lifted. Just like that, her backstage became purely another part of the set.

"It's like they forget that you're human beings that need to _breathe!_" Lexxi said, taking the chair that Jordan had previously occupied.

"I don't know, I think that they were really worried about my lungs." Peyton trailed just behind Lexxi, her eyes avoiding the pair now sitting opposite her girlfriend. "They kept on looking at where they'd be if all this damn skin wasn't in the way," she added sarcastically, holding her hands up in front of her breasts to stress her point.

Jordan let out a low chuckle. "Sorry girls, I guess we abandoned you out there. Brooke isn't feeling so well, so I thought we should sit for a while."

Peyton took a seat next to Lexxi, but leaned forward so that she was closer to Brooke. "Are you okay?" she asked, her best friend instincts apparently not extinct. "You need water or anything?" Her hand flew up to the brunette's forehead.

Brooke didn't know if Jordan had planned that detail or if it was just the first excuse that popped into her mind, but she was grateful for it. _I freaking love this girl! Jordan, you're totally at the top of my list if I ever develop non-Peyton girl interest. _Brooke smiled at her friend before removing the blonde's hand with her own. "I'm fine, P. Sawyer. I just got a little dehydrated. Guess my sweaty man tolerance is down this week." _Okay, time to let go of her hand, Brooke. _

"Mine wasn't that high to begin with," Jordan said, standing up. "So I think I'm gonna call it a night."

Brooke rose with her date, finally freeing Peyton's hand. "You sure?" she asked, wearily. She knew the answer, and she inwardly kicked herself for it.

"Yeah." Jordan opened her arms and brought Brooke into her embrace. "Good luck," she whispered.

Brooke sighed as Jordan broke their contact. With a small wave directed at Peyton and Lexxi, her simu-date left. _Just roll with the punches, Brooke. You can still do this! … You just need to figure out how. _Brianna, one of the girls on her squad that was also in the drama club, said that she would spend an hour backstage in silence, blocking out the world, just to get into character. She'd think up a story for her character, and analyze how she would respond to certain situations. _That's what I need to do! _Brooke would use this as her intermission, and she'd make a brilliant return in the second act. "I need to use the bathroom," she said, probably a little too adamantly, to the girls in front of her.

"Okay Brooke, thanks for sharing. We'll wait here," Lexxi replied.

--

When people talked about _Musik_, one of the most-discussed features was the in-bathroom bar. Brooke never did understand the logic behind having a bar in the bathroom, but she gushed about it regardless. Right now, she hated whoever it was that suggested the idea in the first place. _So this is why it seemed like we were the only women on the dance floor. We were! _Turns out there were just as many women as men at _Musik _on this Wednesday night, but the women were hiding out in the bathroom bar, along with more men. They weren't exactly gender-strict here.

Brooke pushed all the club-goers aside, trying to get through the hallway with the bar to the area with the stalls. She knew now that the stall was her only option. The _Musik _bathroom was _way _too noisy and crowded otherwise.

The brunette locked the silver metal door behind her and flipped down the toilet seat cover. Resting on it, she closed her eyes and tried to block out the laughing and chattering from the other side. _A bar in a bathroom – why did I EVER think this was a good idea? _This was going to be a long prepping session.

_Okay Brooke… you asked Jordan out on Monday after you heard from Dave that she was bisexual. She agreed, and you were NOT nervous at all because Brooke Davis is strong and confident and, like, sexually liberal or whatever. You asked her to come out with you and your friends because she still doesn't know many people and you wanted to help out. Umm… so, yeah, tonight she met them and everything was going really well, but then you got sick and she decided that it'd be better if you rescheduled your first date for another time! Ooh! Maybe she thought that if she left, you would too, and you could go home and rest and get better. So now you'll be going out again on Friday, but you'll do something more private…_

"Brooke!"

_Ugh! And I was doing so well. _"I'm in here!"

"Where?"

Brooke leaned forward and slid open the lock. She shoved the door with the tips of her fingers, but felt resistance. Puzzled, she stood up to open the door with more force. With effort, she managed to swing it halfway. On the other side of the stall, a female clubber stood with her martini in hand and chatted up one of Brooke's admirers from earlier. The female continued blubbering on, oblivious to the annoyed cheerleader behind her, and leaned against the next stall over. Before Brooke could say anything, she noticed Peyton practically throwing people to the side to get through to her. It seemed that the hallway with the bar had gotten so full that the stall area was picking up the overflow.

Brooke stepped backwards into the stall again. She took a couple deep breaths, fearful that she hadn't done enough to prepare.

"Hey," Peyton said as she inched her way into the tiny space. "You were gone for a while. I thought I'd come to check up." The blonde shut the door behind her before pausing to look around at the silver walls. "Okay, is it just me, or do we have more room in here than in the rest of the club?"

Brooke smiled, following her glance. "Nice, isn't it? This kinda felt like the only place I could breathe. But don't worry, Sawyer, I'm pretty good at going long periods of time without coming up for air. Wanna get back out there?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask you something." Peyton readjusted her stance, shifting her weight and looking to the wall for a second before re-focusing on Brooke. "Okay, look, I don't wanna sound all judgemental or anything, but are you sure that you really wanna do this thing with Jordan? I mean, she seems cool, Brooke, but I just don't think it's a good idea… unless she knows that you aren't looking for anything, then I guess that's okay, but what if she really likes you? And you realize that this was just sort of experimental thing that isn't going to lead anywhere and it was a mistake. I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

"I think you're getting a little ahead of yourself," Brooke said with a smirk. "But if it makes you feel any better, I promise to take it slow. I'll wait 'til at least the endof the third date to do the 'experimental thing'" she said with air quotes. "Everything will be okay."

"But what if it's not?" Peyton countered. "I know you, and you haven't been in real relationship since…"

As her ex-best friend's voice trailed off, Brooke reached forward to rub her arm consolingly. "I know," she said. "It's okay. But, hey, why do you care so much about what happens to her? You don't even know her."

Peyton shrugged, and Brooke's hand dropped from her arm. "I dunno." Her eyes took flight again, looking everywhere but at the hazel ones in front of her. "I'm still trying to figure you out." The blonde managed to focus on one spot, and Brooke could practically see her count off all of the incidents that would help her put the pieces together. "You ask me why I chose Lexxi, then you tell me you aren't gay, and then you show up today with Jordan… but you say nothing's changed. I don't get it, Brooke! I don't get you. And it hurts, because I really don't wanna think that you're hiding something from me. I just want everything to go back to normal."

"You know it can't," Brooke whispered.

"So is that it? Are you keeping something from me?" Peyton asked.

"We should get back to Lexxi."

"Brooke, please. Just give me the missing link. Just _trust me_ for once."

"Peyton, believe me, you don't wanna hear it."

"How do you know that?"

"Because if you did, you would've heard it already. I practically screamed it to Jordan without even opening my mouth!" Brooke placed her hands on her hips and bit the inside of her bottom lip to keep from crying. _Why does this always happen when we're left alone together? _"Why do you think she left so early?"

"I don't know, okay! I don't know. And it doesn't make it any easier that someone you've known for two days can hear something I can't."

"It just proves you aren't ready."

"God! Will you just let me be the judge of that?!"

"You really wanna know, Peyton? Because this is just one more thing that we won't be able to take back! And this friendship is strained enough as it is."

Once she said it, she immediately knew it was a mistake. Peyton winced at the truthfulness of that statement. "I'm sorry, Brooke. Is this friendship too hard for you?" she asked bitterly. "Why don't we just forget the whole thing and go back to hating each other. That seems easier, doesn't it?"

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," Brooke said evenly, bringing Peyton back to her level.

"Brooke, I already told you that I'd fight for this. Whatever it is, we'll get through it. We always do, right? This isn't any different… it _can't be _different."

Brooke gulped. "Okay," she said, finally tearing up her mental script. "So maybe I wasn't actually interested in Jordan."

"Then why would you lead her on?"

Brooke desperately searched for the words. Her mouth was open and ready to explain, but her brain wasn't processing fast enough. "It'd be really great if you could just, like, clue in right now and save me from having to actually say it," she said rapidly.

"Brooke…" Peyton said in her warning tone, obviously getting frustrated.

_Not good. _Brooke couldn't take another lecture. She had to just act fast. _And this is what they call improvisation…_

The brunette stepped forward, placing her hands on either side of Peyton and trapping her best friend against the door. "Sorry, P. Sawyer. You're aren't giving me much of a choice here," she murmured into the taller girl's ear. The butterflies in her stomach didn't betray her calm and collected attitude. _For once! Maybe LA isn't such a good idea after all. _

She didn't look into Peyton's eyes. She was too afraid of what she'd see. Instead, she shut her eyes and brought her lips to the left in search of Peyton's. She tried not to think about the slightly awkward earlier kiss with Jordan. Luckily, this was nothing like it. She met Peyton's lips softly, not desperately. She didn't have to fake passion, it was there inherently. From partly open, her lips closed and she broke away – a very un-Brooke-like thing to do. She wasn't typically the tender sort.

"I should get back to Lexxi," was the first thing Peyton said to her, and it broke her heart a little.

"Peyton…" Brooke begged.

"No, Brooke, I can't do this with you right now." She didn't sound angry. She sounded more confused than ever. "Hell, I don't even know what 'this' is! You're straight, I'm _finally _in a relationship where I actually care about the other person, and our friendship isn't even stable yet… what are you thinking?!"

"I don't know! You asked for an explanation, and I didn't know what to say. I haven't figured it out myself, how am I supposed to explain it to you?"

"Um, not like that?" Peyton suggested. "I still have my own stuff to sort out. I just… I have to go. I'm sorry. Look, I'll come over tomorrow after I've had time to process… whatever the hell this is, and we'll talk about it and we'll maybe actually be able to get somewhere, okay?"

Brooke paused, feeling infinitely less sure of herself than she did five minutes ago. "Okay," she relented, removing her hand from the lock.

After Peyton left the stall, Brooke lost her to the bathroom bar masses. She thought about going after her, but the real Brooke didn't have the strength to do that. She stepped back into the stall, locked the door, and hid. She would emerge twenty minutes later, and real Brooke would be no where in sight.

((Oooooh, more progress! It seems pretty much split down the middle between people who knew where I was going with Jordan and who didn't, but I'm reaaaally happy that all of you approved! So enough about her, what do you think about this chapter, guys? Give me your thoughts, praises, criticisms, I'd love to hear them all :)

**OTH305Degrassi305 – **Thanks for adding me to your everything, haha. And I'd like to think that, no, it isn't possible to love my stories too much :)

**JennVanessa **– Hope I didn't leave you hanging too long! I was so glad that you were genuinely totally shocked with my twist. That makes one, haha.

**Spashley – **Damn! The name 'Jordan' gave it away? I shoulda picked something more masculine. 10 years ago, no one would've expected a Jordan to be a female, haha.

**Daizy – **Okay, I'll change your name again lol. Do I always update on Mondays? I didn't realize… but if this is any indication then, huh, I guess I do. You're too sweet with the compliments… feel free to tear me down some day to balance it off ;) haha

**BleedLikeMe – **I hope I'm not moving too quickly for you now! And yeah, if you can relate then I guess I'm accomplishing my goal of making it realistic. I'm weak. I know there's no chance of BP, so I think I'm kinda settling for Brucas, haha.

**Risen2Fall – **Don't worry about it! Review when you can and I'll stay happy :) Thanks for adding me to faves.

**WantTakeHave – **Maybe that is my masterplan, maybe it's not... okay it is. And I'm glad it's working.

**BrathanBrucas… **- Your name is long and I'm lazy, haha. I'm actually planning on there being Brathan friendship, so stay with me! I'll get there eventually.

**Rain – **Okay so they didn't exactly jump each other in the club, but I hope that was satisfying.

**Kaila – **Hope the psychology exam went well! Ahhh Breyton, what a good way to unwind.

**Idaatje **– I am feeling better, thank you. Ohhh if only everything could be as easy as ditch-Lexxi-and-bring-on-Breyton.

**Izzienkate – **Brilliant… that's a strong word… I like it! See comment above It is way too early in the game for that scenario (the one with the making out and the jealousy and the being caught in the act) but I won't write it off ;)

**Amazoniandragon – **You're lucky! You didn't have to wait long at all for this one! Hope you liked :)

UPDATE: I'm sorry I couldn't respond to everyone, I knew I'd be torn away pretty quickly by my roommate. But I appreciate ALL of your responses! One of you mentioned that Lexxi's behaviour was unexpected in my last chapter. I've been toying with the idea of doing a chapter from her perspective. Of course, it would be Breyton right the way through, you'd just see it through someone else's eyes. Do you guys WANT to understand Lexxi better, or should I just keep her and any motives she may have in mystery? Let me know!


	9. Chapter 9

((Hey guys! This is a fairly short chapter and I apologize for that. But expect me to update more often in the coming weeks. In other news, thank you to everyone who reviewed and added to faves! It's appreciated, as always. Let me know what you think of this one :))

--

_I was so close to getting out of here. _Since Lexxi, Peyton had been well on her way out of her personal limbo. Every day she felt more and more alive – like she was a part of the world again. No longer an observer, she actually belonged here. But with Brooke's revelation haunting her reality, Peyton slipped and plunged right back in. It was her haven. When life on the outside threatened her mentality, she defaulted to her own place that was already as dark, disheartening, and hopeless as it could get. As her frame of mind back-pedaled, so did her sleeping habits. She lay awake in her bed, her eyes wide open, desperately attempting to analyze Brooke's actions. But it was useless; there were too many missing pieces. She wished that she could've stayed. She wanted to hear Brooke out, but that really wasn't an option. If she'd stayed in that tiny bathroom stall, Peyton was sure she would've suffocated.

By 5 a.m., suffocation didn't seem so bad. She wondered if Brooke was staring at her clock, too, just waiting for the sun to rise and offer an excuse to get out of bed. Many people find safety and comfort in lying beneath warm covers if they're depressed or anxious. Right now, Peyton just felt imprisoned. She groaned and pushed away the offending sheets. Next to her, Lexxi stirred and reminded her that she wasn't alone. She wished she was.

_Why can't I just wallow? I used to be good at that. No. Now I have to move, get out of bed… and talk to Brooke. God! Why am I trying so hard not to think that? It's not like Lex can hear my thoughts. Even if she could, why would it matter? Those are Brooke's feelings. Not mine. It doesn't involve her. I need to get out of here._

Peyton considered leaving a note. She felt like she was sneaking away from a one-night-stand that the other mistook for a relationship. A note would at least bring her a notch above that, but it would also mean lingering to find paper, and then words to fill it with. The afterthought instantly killed that idea. It was hard enough sifting through her cluttered mind; she could barely think. Transcribing her thoughts to paper would be nothing short of torturous.

The blonde eased her way off the bed and tip-toed over to the closet. She clenched her eyes shut, predicting the squeak that would accompany opening it. Inevitably the high-pitched noise sounded, followed by a more subtle rustling from the bed behind her. She peeked over her shoulder to find Lexxi sprawled across her side of the bed, still blissfully passed out. Peyton released the air that she'd held in her lungs. In the clear, at least for now, she snatched a pair of jeans and a tank. On her way out, she grabbed the bra she'd discarded at the foot of her bed, and prayed her bedroom door would be kinder than the closet.

--

In her Comet, Peyton could finally breathe. She told herself to go for a drive and clear her head. There was at least one positive point for waking up as early as 5 a.m. – the roads weren't congested with morning commuters yet. No honks from grumpy business people on the fast track to Starbucks. No close calls with horrendously late employees in danger of receiving that 'written warning' document. No wolf whistling from SUVs full of private school kids on their way out of Tree Hill. It was just her and about five other cars that she could see. Maybe the cars were carrying people with similar problems, but she prayed that wasn't the case. If those other five were driving as disoriented as she was, she'd rather come back at rush hour.

A mass of CDs covered the passenger seat next to her. She reached over to grab one at random, remembering the game she and Brooke used to play when they felt conflicted. Granted, the game was typically played with the radio, but only because Brooke actually liked that crap the stations put on. Alone, Peyton could create her own version with music that didn't suck quite so much. She popped the disk into the player and pushed a number, letting chance decide her fate.

I am outside, and I've been waiting for the sun

And with my wide eyes, I've seen worlds that don't belong

_Come ON, Paramore. You're supposed to tell me my future, not regurgitate my life back to me. Don't make me replace you. I'd be breaking the official psychic music game rules. _

My mouth is dry, with words I cannot verbalize

Tell me why we live like this

Keep me safe inside your arms like towers

Tower over me

_Okay, so I need Brooke. Still nothing new. She was my best friend and, yes, we have some communication problems. Clearly. And fine, you're right, I'm letting this thing get in the way when – really – why should it? We've been through worse… I think._

'Cause we are broken

What must we do to restore our innocence

And oh, the promise we adored

Give us life again

Cause we just wanna be whole

_Great. So you're telling me that we were right – things can't go back to the way they were. First the Lucas episode and then Brooke… we're stuck with the memories and we have to deal. Forget about everything being perfect again, life doesn't work that way. I should know that. If we want to have a chance at surviving this, we can't be naive. _

Brooke's door – Peyton had a feeling she'd end up here. She couldn't run away anymore. That red door was her entrance to the rest of the world. This time, she would pull herself out of limbo. She couldn't keep relying on Lexxi because, one day, Lexxi wouldn't be around to offer her a hand. It was infantile to think otherwise. Throwing any childlike tendencies out the window, Peyton turned off the ignition. She sat for a moment in the Comet, collecting herself. She considered planning a speech but knew it was useless. When Brooke would approach her, it would vanish from her mind.

Stepping out of the Comet and back into the dense air, Peyton headed towards reality. Her fist almost met with the door, but froze. Her and Brooke never knocked – not since they were eight years old and Peyton's mother was still alive. For two weeks after her mother's death, Peyton didn't leave the house. In fact, she didn't move from her bed. During those first couple days, Brooke would ring the bell or knock to be polite, but Peyton wouldn't answer. Her father didn't, either. Even when Peyton was young, he was absent ninety percent of the time. The brunette learned soon enough that she would never be greeted. By day five, she'd thrown away all typical guest policies and treated Peyton's house as her own. Peyton had to remind herself that those 'guest policies' needed to be reinstated. She knocked, and felt it echo on her heart.

No answer. Since driving away wasn't an option, she had no choice but to try to knob. The front door creaked open, and Peyton nervously took the giant step inside. She started for Brooke's room, retracing the path she'd treaded so many times before. She hated that the trail felt so foreign to her now.

_Lock the doors, 'cause I'd like to capture this voice_

_That came to me tonight, so everyone will have a choice_

_And under red lights, I'll tell myself it wasn't forged_

_We're at war, we live like this_

Peyton gasped at the scene on the other side of Brooke's door – evidence of the time they'd spent apart. The room was virtually bare, save for the single bed, basic desk, and pictures that Brooke had posted on the walls so they weren't quite so blank. She was so focused on the room's décor that she didn't notice the second body squeezed into Brooke's tiny bed. Her attention was only drawn to the person when he shifted positions minutes later. Finally focusing on Brooke and her companion, she noted one addition to Brooke's bedroom. On the floor next to them lay shot glasses and bottle of rum. It seemed Brooke had picked up Peyton's vice after forcing her to drop it.

'_Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore our innocence_

_And oh, the promise we adored_

_Give us life again_

'_Cause we just wanna be whole_

The blonde knelt next to the bed. She brushed the hair out of the other girl's face. Brooke was out cold, but the guy next to her wasn't. When Peyton turned her gaze to him, his eyes were already on her and silently asking why the hell she was in the bedroom.

"You wanna leave now, or wait 'til she wakes up and get thrown out?" Peyton asked, tossing him the death glare.

"And what if she wants me to stay for another round?"

"I'm sorry, are you deaf? 'Cause my sign language is a little rusty. G.E.T. O.U.T." Peyton accentuated the words and spelled them out with her hands. The alphabet was the only thing she could remember from their sign language lesson in grade five. She smirked as she continued. "Or, if all that spelling was too tough for you…" Middle finger, thumb over the shoulder.

The guy rolled his eyes and grabbed his boxers from the floor, not bothering to cover himself as he dressed. On his way out, he muttered something about a bitch that needed to get laid. Peyton knew that Brooke must have passed out immediately after they'd had sex. Otherwise, he would've been out of the house hours ago. The blonde stood up and rolled Brooke carefully towards the middle of the bed. Another couple inches and the girl would've toppled to the ground. She took the unfinished wooden chair from the desk and placed it next to the bed. A pile of books sat in the corner of the room. Brooke's parents must have sold the bookcase. Peyton searched through them, looking for something to kill her time while she waited for Brooke to join her.

"Chick-lit – all of them. You trying to convert me, B. Davis? You know that never worked," she said to her unconscious friend. "But, okay, maybe you have it right. Maybe this whole uplifting, cheerful book thing isn't so bad, huh? Fine, fine, I'll try it… but don't tell anyone or I'd have to kill you."

_Tower over me_

_Tower over me_

_And I'll take the truth at any cost_

_You'd better wake up soon. I don't know how much of this I can take. _Peyton took a seat on the chair, a pink paperback in hand. She got to page 12.

"Peyton? What are you… why are you reading Meg Cabot?"

--

((Yeah, another Breyton cliffhanger. Man, you'd think I LIKE doing that, haha. I'll disclaim those lyrics, in case that's necessary – not mine, that was "We Are Broken" by Paramore. UPDATE: I asked you all to vote on whether or not you actually want to understand Lexxi by having a chapter in her perspective 'cause I didn't know if the whole undeveloped character thing was annoying. Apparently it doesn't bother you guys though, so I'm just continuing on in Brooke/Peyton form :) Thanks to everyone for their opinions!

**Daizy – **Okay, so the bathroom in a bar thing wasn't of my own imagination. We have one like that here in Toronto and I kinda based the club off of it, haha. Glad you liked the acting thing. I also used to be one of those drama nerds… though, not hardcore or anything. Just the occasional musical here and there.

**Crafty – **Is there ever plain sailing in OTH? There never is in the teen-drama type. But hey, at least the waters are slowly calming.

**Idaatje – **Thank you! But as soon as the show itself progresses faster than this story, feel free to slap me. I'm planning on NOT boring you all to tears.

**Sheepish – **Looks like I had to balance out the fun chapter with a darker one, huh? I just hope I'm not regressing..

**Spashley – **I was also SO pissed off with the finale. How unsatisfying was that?? I want him with Brooke too, but she's out of this game altogether. I would actually be mad if they had him call her out of absolutely no where and ask her to marry him. My roommate and I are guessing Peyton, unfortunately.

**Rain – **Thanks for commenting on the mutual confusion thing I have going on. I was afraid that would be annoying because I am REALLY not helping any of you to understand where they're coming from, but yes, I was hoping to make it more realistic. You made me feel much better about that decision :)

**Kaila – **Don't ask me how, but you totally remind me of my best friend, haha. I can practically see your personality in your comments. You're gonna have to keep waiting for that talk ;)

**Finalhybrid – **Yeah, I felt like I couldn't make Jordan really upset… there would just be _way _too much emotional turmoil going on, haha.

**Amazoniandragon – **A kiss definitely does change things and, honestly, part of the reason I ended here was so I could think more in depth about how their relationship would be different. I just didn't wanna starve you all while I figured that out ;)

**Squee4Cheese, xtehpuppetx, **and **cellochick **– Yay! Glad you all found my story and are likin' it! Thank you for your reviews :))


	10. Chapter 10

((Hey guys! Finally, you get the real conversation. So much for having it done quickly, huh? Thank you so, so much to everyone who reviewed. You guys are totally keeping me going. Gimme your thoughts on how I handled this (incredibly difficult) scene. Hope I did it justice. Sorry I can't reply to everyone individually this time. I'll make up for it next update!))

_Peyton's bedroom, 2002_

Brooke leaned against the doorway, wishing she were here for some other reason. Her eyes still stained red from earlier tears, she knew that the waterworks would return once she entered the room. Peyton had seen her like this before. That was part of the beauty of their friendship – it wasn't worth putting on an act because the other would see through it. Whether Brooke walked into that room with a smile plastered across her face or tears streaming down her cheeks, she'd get the same response. _What's wrong? _The phoney smile may fool her classmates, but never Peyton. The strength of their bond comforted her and frustrated her at the same time. While she adored her best friend whole-heartedly, Brooke hated that anyone could break through her tough exterior so easily. Only Peyton could pull out the vulnerable girl that Brooke tried so hard to lock away.

The brunette rolled her body from the edge of the threshold to the inside of Peyton's bedroom. "Hey, lady friend," she said softly. She managed to speak in a way that was light and bubbly, but the words clearly came from her broken heart.

Concern flashed in Peyton's eyes before they even hit Brooke. "Hey," she replied with uncertainty. A beat passed as she took in Brooke's condition. "So, you gonna come join me, or what?" From her position on the bed, she patted the empty space next to her and set down her sketch pad.

Brooke nodded, and her lips stretched and thinned as the tears came back. "I'm so sorry," she cried, crawling in next to Peyton and resting her head in the crook of her friend's neck. The truth was, she hadn't been in this room in weeks. She saw Peyton at school, but their conversations were limited. Dillon blinded her with visions of a popularity that extended past their freshman class. Unfortunately, the invite to the top of the social ladder didn't say 'Brooke Davis plus guest.'

"What happened?" Peyton's arms encased the girl beside her. Her tone, her embrace, her expressions – everything about her conveyed to Brooke that no apology was needed.

"I was so stupid," Brooke breathed out, speaking partly to Peyton but mostly to herself. "I went over to his house. We were just supposed to watch a movie but then we started fooling around… Peyton, I told him to stop. I said, 'slow down, this isn't the right time.' You know what he said to me? 'How would you know? You're just a kid.'"

Brooke boosted herself up to rest on her elbow. She peered down at Peyton, immediately comforted just by looking at the girl who'd always been there for her. The cheerleader gulped and redirected her gaze just over her friend's shoulder as her eyes welled up again. "He kept going until I gave in." Her voice degraded to a whisper. "It was just easier to go along with it than put up a fight."

Brooke saw her pain reflected in Peyton's eyes. The blonde didn't offer any words of consolation, and Brooke didn't need them. The two had mastered the art of silent communication. Peyton simply tightened her grip and brought the girl back to her body. She tilted her head down to kiss Brooke's forehead and Brooke's tears finally fell free without grace or inhibition.

_I'll never leave you again, _Brooke thought. Life without her best friend was a desolate place that she'd rather die than revisit. If she ever doubted it in the past, she knew it now. Peyton kept her alive.

--

How did she forget that? The memory flooded back to her now as she adjusted to the sunlight, and the fact that her best friend was in her bedroom. _She wasn't here last night, was she? Oh! Oh no… definitely not here last night. _With a surge of energy, Brooke flipped her body in the opposite direction, eyes frantic as they surveyed her bedroom.

"I kicked him out," Peyton said.

Brooke squeezed her eyes shut. She was _really _hoping for a different answer – maybe one like, 'who are you looking for?' or something else she could lie her way out of. She had no way of countering that one. Instead, she figured her best course of action would be the classic avoidance technique. She lay back down facing Peyton and forgot about her friend's comment. "So own up, Blondie. You out before 6 a.m. and _voluntarily _reading a book from the teen fiction section? This can't be healthy for your troubled rebel child image."

"Yeah well, from the looks of it, I think you won that title this year. Maybe it's my turn to be the unnecessarily enthusiastic cheerleader. I can do the books, but I draw the line at Mariah Carey."

Brooke smiled, "Deal." She shifted so that her back was only a few inches from the edge. When Peyton gazed at her uncertainly, Brooke rolled her eyes. "Like we ever used the full bed anyway."

Peyton placed the paperback on the ground and joined Brooke on the single bed. "So… what's with the redecorating? Gotta say, I like the whole minimalist thing you've got going on," she asked with soft sarcasm.

"The, like, UPS or whatever came to take all our stuff so that we could pay off some of my dad's debts. It'll only take about thirty years after his death to pay them the rest."

The blonde settled as Brooke spoke. By the time Brooke had finished explaining, a mass of curls had taken over the better part of her pillow. "I'm sorry, Brooke," Peyton said, now eye-to-eye with her. "Are you okay?"

Brooke shrugged. "I'm getting there. I mean, I built my life on being 'the rich girl'. When I got that taken away, it was like... I was no longer me. I watched them take away my bed, and my shelves, and my clothes, and each time they left the house, I felt another part of me go missing."

"Are you crazy?" Peyton said, her voice rising as she tossed her friend a reassuring smile. "No, you're so much more than that. People are complicated. You can't just slap a title on them and say, that's it – that's all that person will ever be. It doesn't work that way. You're still you, Brooke. Just… trust me on that one, okay?"

"Sure," Brooke said. She didn't know how Peyton was saying these things. Not after last night… and this morning. She didn't feel like the same girl that stormed out of Peyton's bedroom all those months ago, and yet, this was the closest they'd ever come to acting like their former selves. "But then why do I feel like such a mess?"

Peyton's thoughts were immediately silenced by her cell phone. "Sorry," she said and slipped it from her pocket. She hardly glanced at the screen before she shut it off.

"Who was that?" Brooke asked. She knew the answer. Peyton fidgeted with a sudden discomfort as she dropped the phone to the floor.

"No one," Peyton replied reluctantly and sat up, creating space and an emotional disconnection between herself and Brooke.

_That's it. _Brooke shoved the covers to the side and stood up. She ignored the mallet that pounded in her head when she moved. She and Peyton were playing the same game. They were both avoiding all subjects that related to their double date. Brooke was done. She forfeited. This conversation had to happen, hangover or not. "Are we ever gonna talk about what happened last night?"

Peyton's jaw dropped as she struggled to catch up to Brooke. "Uh, yeah, we can do that." Her eyes flicked between Brooke and the footboard.

Brooke nodded and crossed her arms. She'd put it out there. _Now what?_ She didn't have a clue where to start.

"I guess I'll start."

_Thank you!_

"Sorry I flipped out on you, you didn't need that. I was just _so _confused and shocked, and the only thing I could think to do was run away. I've gotten pretty good at ignoring problems, hoping they'll disappear."

Brooke shrugged. "It wasn't your fault," she said groggily. "I didn't exactly express myself in the best way."

A pause brought Brooke's wandering eyes back to the girl on her bed. She'd wondered why Peyton wasn't firing questions at her. Now she realized that Peyton was interrogating her, but just like old times, she didn't have to say a word. After another moment, the blonde snapped back into their verbal conversation. "Brooke, do you…"

"Peyton!" Brooke interrupted. "Do you really have to ask?"

A gulp and then, "I need you to tell me. I need to hear it. Whatever it is that you think you feel…"

"What I _think _I feel?" Brooke said, her voice heavy with frustration at Peyton's accusation. "You can't be serious. This isn't some kind of emotional hallucination. I wish it were, _especially _right now, but unfortunately I'm stuck with the real thing." She began to pace the room as she continued. Suddenly the mallet in her head wasn't so bad. "I tried ignoring it, I tried fighting it… I tried blaming it on Lucas but it won't go away and I don't know what to do anymore! And I need you to just join me in reality already and admit that it's happening. Okay, so maybe it isn't happening to you but, _clearly_, it's happening to me because I'm acting like a total crazy person. And I'd like to think that I don't always act like a crazy person and the only reason I am right now is because I love you and I don't know how else to deal with that."

Brooke froze as soon as the words left her mouth. She'd gotten so caught up in her defence speech that she could no longer censor herself. With fear etched across her face, she turned back to her best friend.

A fleeting smile crossed Peyton's lips. "Got you to say it," she said meekly.

Brooke's fear transformed right back to confusion. "And yet you aren't halfway through the door."

"Yeah, well, you're kinda blocking my path."

Brooke glanced over her shoulder at the door and smirked, "Good." The grin was wiped from her face almost instantly, as the weight of her confession finally hit her. In fact, it seemed to soak the whole room. When she turned back to Peyton, her worried gaze met a curious one.

"When'd it start?" Peyton asked.

The question seemed simple, but nothing about this scenario was. The tiny question, likely an opener for more difficult ones, was just a compound question in disguise. Luckily, Brooke had the full night's worth of deconstruction to help her out. _Another million nights like these and I actually might be able to figure it out. _She may not have a definite answer, but now she at least had a ballpark figure. "Freshman year… we went almost a month without speaking. You remember that?" Peyton's nod prompted Brooke to continue. "I don't think I _ever_ hated high school as much as I did then. And I must have been delusional or something because I thought it'd be worth it. Well, it wasn't, and the second I realized that I practically ran to find you.

"Peyton, I was _so _scared that I'd done something unforgivable. I tried to think, what would I do if you wouldn't take me back? For the life of me, I didn't have an answer. I didn't even have a shadow of an answer. But then I got to your bedroom and you just acted like nothing happened. And I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and I _really_ didn't deserve it. I do something completely inexcusable and then you go and not only let me back into your life but, just like before, you fix me up after I crash. That day something changed. I had no idea what it was, but I felt it." Brooke paused, her eyes boring into Peyton's. She didn't break their connection as she wandered back to the bed and took a seat next to the taller girl. "Was it just me?"

Peyton swallowed and from her expression, Brooke guessed she was still back in 2002. "Something might have… shifted – but how do you know that's what it was, Brooke? What if it was just a mind trick? I mean, we'd been apart for so long, what if we were just reconnecting?" Peyton picked up speed as she spoke.

_Is that fear in your voice, P. Sawyer? Welcome to my world. _"It wasn't just me," Brooke muttered.

Speechless, Peyton considered the statement before rapidly shaking her head.

"So… what do we do with that?" Brooke asked, trying desperately not to let the hope creep into her tone.

"Nothing."

And just like that, Brooke didn't have to try any longer. Peyton's sharp response cut through her so effortlessly that she didn't have time to mask the wound.

"That was a long time ago. We talked about this, remember? Last weekend we didn't even know if we could be friends again, now you wanna go open up something like that? You and me, we've gotta forget about the past and move forward if we wanna get anywhere. And yeah, it hurts, but you know as well as I do that we aren't those people anymore."

Brooke tried to hide the pain. It wasn't so hard, considering that she'd seen it coming. What she didn't expect was the anger. "You just finished telling me that I'm still me, that I was foolish to think otherwise. So what was that? A lie? A way to make me feel better that you didn't think would come back to bite you in the ass later?"

"You _are _you, but people change. And even if the people don't change, relationships do. And ours has – a lot! I'm not saying that we'll never go back to the way we were but right now… it doesn't look good, Brooke." Peyton had become much more cautious. She spoke sympathetically, trying to soften the blow. She almost seemed to plan the words that she said aloud. Brooke didn't trust them.

"Fine. Look, I'm really tired. I didn't get much sleep. Maybe we can continue this wonderful conversation tomorrow after practise? Or just forget the conversation and work on that starting over thing you seem so eager to try."

Peyton nodded, and Brooke swore she looked relieved. _Why am I surprised? _

"Okay," Peyton agreed. "After practise." She grabbed the phone from the floor and strode to the door. In the hallway, she paused and looked back. "Thanks, y'know, for telling me," she stammered.

Brooke said nothing, simply raising her eyebrows and looking away. She didn't have much of a choice.

--

Peyton slammed the driver's door shut, and slumped forward over the wheel. This time she was in no rush to get onto the roads, for many reasons. Not at the bottom of that list - her haven of a bedroom was occupied by a certain cheerleader that she'd rather not confront. She leaned back in the seat and rested her right hand on the wheel, cell phone still tightly grasped. A sigh rumbled through her as she pressed the number 5 followed by the miniature green phone button. She balanced the phone between her shoulder and ear and backed out of the driveway.

"Hey, Nate," she said into the cell. "I think I love Brooke so, uh, I'm coming over, 'kay?"


	11. Chapter 11

((Hey all! So I wrote this entire chapter today… I've pretty much been going non-stop since this morning. This will be my first time writing Nathan, so be easy on me, haha. I did have to change his character a bit to fit the story (as if I haven't been doing that already). Hope you all like! Let me know what you think.))

--

The day Brooke stomped out of her bedroom was like black ice in Peyton's life. At first Peyton had grappled at the wheel, desperately attempting to bring herself out of the tailspin. Soon enough she succumbed to it. She didn't care if she ended up in a ditch. Her life took a drastic turn that day, one that ran unopposed to everything except her mother's death. Until now she felt confident that nothing would throw her so off-track again. But here she was, seven months later, already out of control and she'd just entered a dense fog.

_How did I miss this? _

The lens to her world had been replaced, and while the new one was clearer, it also left her more disoriented. This morning, she knew what needed to happen to make amends. She drove to Brooke's house convinced that if they discussed the kiss – the obviously mistaken feelings that Brooke had dreamed up – they could at least rule love out of this already complicated situation. It would just take a little elaboration. After love was out, they could continue where they left off and establish a base of a friendship.

Brooke demolished that plan when she laid everything on the table. Peyton could no longer write her friend's actions off as a momentary lapse in judgement. The way Peyton saw it, her and Brooke had two options: dispel the relationship altogether, or dive headlong into a friendship that attempted to parallel their previous one. An acquaintanceship wouldn't help Brooke through this, not with real feelings in the picture. Suddenly, it was all or nothing. And Peyton was about to find out if she was right – if it was really impossible to recreate a bond that dissipated so long ago. That is, until Brooke asked the question. She asked the question and the truth hit Peyton with such intensity that it shoved all rational thought right out of her. She asked the question and panic took over. She asked the question and Peyton drove into the fog.

_Was it just me?_

Peyton remembered that day in freshman year. Brooke's pain washed over her bedroom the second the girl stepped inside. Peyton didn't even get the chance to look up; it infected her instantaneously. She couldn't be angry, even if she tried. Brooke never understood why. It was because Peyton instinctively soaked up everything that Brooke felt. She didn't have a choice, it just happened. How could you be mad at someone who hurt that much, and still had enough left to punish herself for hurting someone else?

Dillon practically raped Brooke that day, and Peyton could no doubt see hate in her eyes. But it wasn't for Dillon, it was self-loathing. Brooke cared more about Peyton than she did about herself, and this was a rare moment when that truth was visible to the naked eye. Peyton took the other girl into her arms as these revelations came to her. She felt the click – the one that Brooke had mentioned. She felt everything change. She figured that it was simply their relationship ascending. Their friendship did seem to grow stronger every day. She didn't even consider that the click was less of a step in their friendship, and more a leap into love.

_Was it just me?_

The panic answered for her. She told Brooke the blatant truth… or at least most of it. _Our relationship has changed so much_, and _we're only starting to be friends again _and, oh right, _we'll probably never go back to the way we were_. She left Brook alone, hopeless and humiliated – all because she left one small part out. It was the one thought that scared her more than anything. She feared that while everything she said was true, it didn't change the fact that the feelings were still intact. In fact she knew: the friendship may have disintegrated, but her love – if that's what it was – didn't even sizzle. Stronger than hate, it transcended the pain that they put each other through, and she suspected it wouldn't fade just because they exposed it. Maybe its power resided in its camouflage as an intense friendship. Or maybe that's just how love works.

--

Peyton bounded up the steps towards Nathan's apartment. He hadn't said much on the phone, but then again, she didn't give him time. She'd hung up only seconds after warning him about her visit. There were so many thoughts clouding her mind. She needed to release them, but not to a machine. Nathan seemed like the ideal candidate. He would listen, he wouldn't gossip all over school, and he knew the history. Yep, he was the perfect person… or that's what Peyton told herself to keep the guilt at bay. She knew there was only one person that really needed to hear those thoughts, and that person wasn't Nathan.

The blonde rang the doorbell once. Then a second time. And then her finger convulsed against the circular button until Haley swung open the door.

"Okay, come in before you break that thing," Haley said, bemused, before heading to the kitchen.

"Sorry," Peyton muttered and shut the door behind her.

"Yeah, yeah. Do it again and I ban you from the bell."

Peyton slid her hands into her pockets and nodded. "Deal. No bell. So… where's Nathan?"

"In the shower. He should be out soon. Can I get you some juice? Water?" Haley offered as she peered into the fridge.

"Got anything stronger back there?"

Haley glanced over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed. "Peyton, it's not even 8 o'clock yet."

Before Peyton had a chance to argue, Nathan emerged from the bathroom and traipsed to her side. His clothes clung to him; he clearly didn't linger much to dry. In fact, his face still glistened with water, and he didn't seem to mind that it dripped from his chin.

"Hey," he said as he approached her. "You want a drink? Hales, can you grab us that bottle of rum above the fridge?"

"_Thank _you," Peyton breathed out, and crashed onto the couch.

"Wait, okay, someone has to tell me what's going on," demanded Haley, surprised at her husband's readiness to support Peyton's bad habit.

Peyton met Nathan's gaze and held it for a moment before focusing on the carpet.

Nathan sighed and turned apologetically to his wife. "I need to talk to Peyton alone for a while. Why don't you head to class and I'll meet you at lunch, okay?"

"Fine," Haley said in a way that completely contradicted the word. "I'll go. You guys talk." Her eyes flicked from her husband to their guest with uncertainty. She seemed to be looking for extra reassurance. All she got was a crooked 'sorry' smile. She nodded once with understanding and grabbed the keys from the counter. "'Kay," she murmured, and then she was gone.

The slam of the door brought Peyton's attention back to her ex-boyfriend. "Ah, Nate, I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have come. I just… I didn't know who else to talk to about this and I really, really needed to talk to _someone_."

"No, no, it's fine. That wasn't about you," Nathan said, wandering to the kitchen in search of the rum. "Haley and I have our own problems, but we're here to talk about yours. And honestly, it sounds a lot more interesting than my married life." He returned with two cups, the alcohol, and a box of mango-orange juice. He took a seat next to Peyton before opening the glass bottle. "So... Brooke, huh?" he asked, a dorky grin covering his face as he looked over at her.

Peyton rolled her eyes and jabbed his arm. "You know I came here to, like, _really _talk, right? Not just conjure up mental images so you can amuse yourself in your boring marriage. Do you haveta be such a guy?"

"I know. And I'm gonna listen, believe me."

"Good."

"I'm gonna listen really hard, to _everything _you have to say. In fact, I'm gonna listen so hard that I'll be able to visualize all of this happening… you know, so I can help you better… so don't leave out any details." And there was the sly grin again, until the pillow wiped it from his face.

"Perv."

Nathan chuckled, yanking the pillow from his friend's hands. "I'm kidding. Peyton, I'm here for you. Just tell me what's going on."

Peyton gulped and crossed her arms over her chest. Ten minutes ago she was dying to let everything out. That urge was still there, but her nerves were getting the better of her. "You can't tell anyone. Not even her," she ordered, nodding in the direction of the door.

"I won't. Promise."

"'Cause I don't even get it, Nate. These are my own feelings from my own heart and I don't even have a clue what they mean!" Her arms subconsciously loosened as she delved into the mass of confusion that was her life right now. She leaned forward, balancing on the edge of the couch as she searched for where to start.

Nathan's lip twisted into a smile, letting her know that he somehow related. "Sounds like love to me."

"Yeah, but this is Brooke we're talking about! It's different. I've known her since I was, what, four? Shouldn't she be, like, exempt from the potential love category?"

"You knew me since we were four, and that didn't stop us from going for it."

"Okay, Nate, you aren't actually comparing you and me to me and Brooke? 'Cause that relationship doesn't even belong on the same planet… or universe for that matter. God, if that was the case, I'd be running as fast as possible in the opposite direction."

"Hey! We weren't that bad."

"Yeah, okay. You know it was all sex. Besides, it's not like you and I had sleepovers every weekend 'til we were twelve. So the whole sex thing… not so weird." Peyton reached forward to finish mixing the drink that Nathan started.

"So you aren't interested in having sex with her? You think it'd be weird."

Peyton's eyes bulged at the directness of his question. She hadn't thought this in depth about it yet. Just thinking about sex with Brooke seemed wrong somehow. Drink in hand, she twisted her neck to face Nathan again. "You've gotta help me figure that out."

"You can't do that on your own?"

Peyton straightened. "No, I can't," she declared. "Y'know what? I'm gonna go. You obviously don't get it. And that's not your fault 'cause why should you?" The cheerleader stood up and placed the glass back on the table. She ran a hand through her hair before placing both on her hips and turning back to Nate. "This is just a _huge _mess. Ugh! I wish I never went to Brooke's this morning."

"Hold on… you went to Brooke's this morning? Before coming here? Is that when you realized all this?"

"Yeah," Peyton answered, taking a breath as she tried to calm herself.

"Peyton, you didn't try something on her, did you? Did she shut you down? Is that why you're so upset?"

"No!" Peyton replied, perhaps a little too urgently. "No, that's not it."

"You have to give me something to work with. What happened at Brooke's? And why were you there so early? It must've been…"

"Six o'clock. Yeah." Her eyes hit the wall above Nathan's head. She thought he was the perfect person because he knew all about their history. She forgot that he wasn't quite up-to-date on their present. For all he knew, Brooke still wanted to take Peyton's head off for the Lucas fiasco. He had no idea that he was looking in on the situation from the wrong angle.

A crease formed on his forehead. He didn't say anything. He just watched her, expectantly. Peyton knew that if she left now, she'd regret it. She'd be back in a couple hours… or days… as long as it took to build back the confidence.

"Look, there's something you don't know," she said and took a step forward. "And you kinda need to if you're gonna get this at all. I know that. But this is Brooke's thing, not mine… not really, so just please don't tell her I told you."

"Would you stop swearing me to secrecy? You know I won't tell anyone."

"Okay. Brooke sorta kissed me last night," she revealed hesitantly. Suddenly she felt uncomfortable in her standing position. She felt exposed. Peyton flinched a couple times before returning to her spot on the couch. "I never thought… I thought it was a mistake. I thought I'd go over, and she'd take it back, and everything would go back to normal. Well, as normal as it could given all the stuff that's happened between us. But… she didn't take it back, Nate."

Nathan stared at her unblinking. "Okay, you're gonna have to give me a second to process this. _Brooke _kissed _you?_"

"Right."

"But… Brooke… she's slept with practically every guy at Tree Hill."

"No, really?" Peyton said sarcastically. She knew it was true. She hated hearing it. She hated hearing it even before this morning when she realised she had a reason to. "I guess I was just dreaming it or something, huh?"

"I told you I was processing!"

"Yeah. Sorry. I just know you're right and it kinda sucks, that's all."

"Okay, I'm gonna ask you questions, and you have to give me honest, instinctive answers. Then maybe we'll get somewhere"

Peyton groaned. "What if I don't wanna know my answers?"

"That's just too bad," Nathan replied with a shrug. "You came here for a reason, and we aren't leaving until you've reached some sort of conclusion."

"That could be a while."

"Then I guess you'd better get comfortable." He picked up Peyton's glass from the table and passed it to her. "You might need that." Peyton snatched it from his grasp and nodded to let him know she was ready. "Okay, remember, you have to answer quickly. Here we go: how did you feel when she kissed you?"

"Nate, this isn't gonna work."

"Stop being so stubborn for once and answer the question."

Peyton sighed. For the first time, she let herself relive the kiss in her mind. She'd refused to before. She felt like she was cheating. "Surprised. And guilty."

"Why guilty?"

"Lex was in the other room. And I was _completely _with Brooke. Like, in every way possible that you could be with someone. I forgot about Lex until after the whole thing happened."

"Did it feel weird? Kissing her?"

"I don't know. Maybe a little. But for the most part… it felt pretty good, I guess."

"Are you attracted to her?"

"I never thought about it. I mean, of course she's beautiful. But anyone could tell you that."

"How do you feel when you think about her?"

"I feel…" Peyton froze as yet another realization struck her. "…a whole bunch of things that you probably shouldn't feel about your best friend."

"Good. But you're gonna need to explain."

"Do I have to?" Peyton whined.

"Yep."

This whole morning had been one big epiphany. She'd never truly tried to analyze the Lucas situation. It seemed so basic. Brooke really liked the guy and Peyton betrayed her by acting on her feelings for him. Simple. But the thing was, it was _too _simple for the emotional wreckage it caused. She never tried to figure out why she drank away her days, or why she felt so empty after leaving a guy that she never really had to begin with. She knew that this must be the same train of thought that Brooke followed earlier.

"I feel my life completely fall apart. I try so hard to hold it all together, but I get all shaken and disoriented and I can't help it. And y'know, once I'm there, I don't want to piece everything back together anymore. It hasn't always been that way. It started after our friendship ended. Before that, she used to make me feel safe. And I really admired her… her strength, her confidence. But the light-headedness, that has always been there. I mighta overlooked it before."

"I think you have an answer."

Peyton nodded, looking down at her hands. Finally, she let herself open up. She told him the one main reason that she was with him right now instead of Brooke. "I'm scared, Nate." The words were barely above a whisper, but Nate had been expecting them.

"I know. And you should be. But you should also feel excited and lucky and hopeful… all those things that come with love that cancel out the fear."

"Hey! Did I ever agree to the love word? Don't call it that. 'Cause what if it's not? I could be wrong; it wouldn't be the first time. I mean, I really thought I could love Lucas. At least at first. What if this is just another lie my mind has decided to tell me? I just got her back. This could break us forever. How am I supposed to risk that?"

"No. See, you and Brooke are both stronger than that. And I have a good feeling about this. But you know what you need to do: talk to Brooke."

"I know, I just… I need to think a bit more first. I told her I'd talk to her after practise, but I might just drive over to her place… in a totally roundabout way."

"But you can't. She'll be at school."

Peyton smirked and shook her head. "Not a chance," she responded with certainty. "You really don't know how girls work, do ya?"

"Naw. Don't think I ever will."

Peyton stood up and strolled to the door. "Well, if you need any advice you know who to call."

"Yeah, not you," Nathan said, laughing. "No offence, but I think you're pretty screwed up yourself in that area."

Peyton spun at the door and shot him a glare. "That is _so_…" She cut herself off as Nathan raised his eyebrows at her. "Okay, _fine_.I'll give you that." She paused as she considered his assertion. "Wow. Good luck to us."

Nathan joined her at the door as they said their goodbyes. As Peyton left the apartment, her emotional chaos returned. She was nervous. And excited. And she didn't have a clue what she was going to do or say. _Okay, P. Sawyer. Don't screw this up. Don't get out of hand. Don't let it get messy._

Was that even an option anymore?

--

((Thanks for your reviews last time around! Apparently that last chapter was a hit. I know this one has a severe lack of Brooke in it, but I hope it was enjoyable anyway ;)

**idaatje – **Yeah, Peyton confuses herself so of course she'll confuse you! I'm glad the mini-scene at the end was helpful. I tried to clear her up a bit in this chapter. How'd I do?

**Sheepish – **Thank you! It's always nice to hear that people liked everything, haha. I'll try to keep things juicy for ya.

**SuperJew – **Well I don't know how to feel about that, lol! Don't throw in the towel! But please, do keep on complimenting me ;)

**Kaila – **Ah! Best chapter ever?! Thanks! Did you really expect me to make Peyton give in right then and there? Oh please.

**Daizy – **How are you feeling about Peyton now? Are we taking some steps forward? Haha. Peyton actually was really confusing me too, so I did a little writing exercise for this chapter. I think it mighta got me somewhere… but I don't know. Peyton's just too damn messed up!

**Amazoniandragon – **Wow. Thank so much for your detail in that review. All of those aspects of the story were planned, and I'm really glad you pin-pointed all of them to let me know they were effective. I hope I can keep you hooked ;)

**The Real Cho – **Yeah, you and the rest of my readership, lol. I think I might have some fun soon and play off that hate..

I'll try to update soon!))


	12. Chapter 12

((Hey! Remember me? It's been a month since I updated last, and I'm sorry about that. Busy summer. I hope you guys have stuck around. Thanks to everyone that added me to faves since last update, and a huge thanks to all the reviewers. You guys really are my main source of motivation, so keep it up and I'll keep updating! Hope you like this chapter, and that you forgive me for my absence ;))

--

Brooke trudged downstairs, aimlessly shuffling from one barren room to another. An aura of disillusionment clung to her, and only intensified once she stopped in the newly televisionless-den. _Unbelievable. They'd better have gotten AT LEAST two grand for that thing. _The emptiness of Brooke's house complemented the void inside herself. Peyton left, and the light in her room seemed to dim. The open space, magnified. The sense of abandonment, unbearable. Brooke lay in the stifling dark air of her bedroom for three hours before wandering out to the rest of her world. She would've emerged earlier if she thought it'd be any easier out here, but she knew it wouldn't. Not with the world conspiring against her the way it had lately.

In fact, proof of this conspiracy theory lay out for her in the form of a letter. The brunette stepped over to the unfinished pine table and picked up the folded sheet of paper.

Dear **Mr. Grant Davis**:

This letter is to confirm our offer of employment as per our verbal agreement last week. Effective January 21, 2006, you will join **Riveredge **at an annual salary of **220,000**. You are entitled to four (4) vacation weeks per year, and up to ten (10) paid sick days.

Welcome to our team, and I look forward to working with you.

Carey Westerhoff

It wasn't the message that unnerved Brooke. Alone, the message could have shot hope and excitement right through her. It could have represented a step back towards her normal life. But there at the foot of Carey Westerhoff's letter lay the company address – in Los Angeles, California.

Brooke's jaw dropped and her eyes scanned the last few lines once more. The job location didn't magically change, and she wasn't any more prepared for it the second time around. When the significance of the letter finally sunk in, she slammed the paper back on the side table. _This is a new low, even for my so-called family. They SO did this on purpose! It's just a billion times easier to keep a sheet of paper lying out in the open than to have an actual serious conversation with their own daughter. _Brooke swiftly side-stepped the table and dropped into the decade-old armchair next to it. _If I hadn't found the damn thing, I probably wouldn't even know until I'm at the airport getting my tweezers and nail clippers taken away. And the worst part is, I can't even call my best friend and complain to her about all this! But… I guess the best part is, at least I have no one to leave behind. _

The thought was meant to be consoling. And it was, for about two seconds before she fully realized the honesty in the statement. She had no one left to tie her to Tree Hill. There was absolutely no reason for her to stay. At least in California she'd be able to start over and maybe even be happy again one day. Stone-faced, she placed her head in her hands as she absorbed the cynical truthfulness of her thoughts. And then she cried. She cried harder than she ever remembered doing in her life. She cried because she was leaving the town she'd lived in forever. She cried because she was moving to an unknown place with unknown people. She cried because she had nothing to lose.

Brooke didn't know how long she stayed like that. Minutes? Hours? Time didn't exist in the place she was in. Somewhere in the distance she heard the bell ring, but it was barely audible over her tears. More than that, it had no meaning in this mental plane.

"Brooke?"

The sound of her name brought her a little closer to reality. But it wasn't enough to get her out of the chair, or to stop the tears. She'd fallen too far. All she saw was darkness.

"Brooke?"

This time the voice was louder. Closer. The brunette sat up straight and let her hands fall back into her lap. She had to squint to get used to the daylight again, and she willed her eyes not to burn.

"Hey. I didn't see you or Peyton at school today. I wanted to check in, make sure you're okay."

Brooke smiled a bitter smile, knowing that her visitor couldn't see it from his position behind her. "Peachy," she croaked. "Why are you here, Lucas? What makes you think you even have the right to come and 'check in' on us? We aren't friends. We were _never _friends."

Something about her voice must have given her away. Either that, or Lucas was just as intuitive as he'd been when they were dating. He always knew what she was feeling. He always wanted to fix it. That part of Lucas really annoyed her. _Ugh! It makes it so much harder to hate him! And I really just want to hate him. _

She heard him rush to her side. She didn't even have to turn her head; he kneeled right in front of her so they were eye-to-eye. "I know that," he said, his eyes begging forgiveness. "And I _know _that I hurt you, and that I'll have to work really hard to gain your trust back. But I want to be there for you, Brooke. I want more than anything for us to be friends. And I think that maybe you could use one right about now. Just tell me what's going on."

She wanted to yell at him. She wanted to scream for him to get out. But, even though she hated herself for admitting it, he was right. She really could use a friend right now. Since she couldn't bring herself to say the words, she simply glanced over at the Riveredge letter lying beside her. Her eyes stayed locked to the table even when Lucas removed the paper from her frame of sight.

"Brooke, this is great!" he said, after a moment had passed. "I don't get it. Aren't you thrilled?"

"Look at the address," Brooke grumbled.

"Oh."

_Bingo._

"They didn't even think to tell me. I just found the letter now."

"This can't be it. There has to be a way for you to stay," Lucas said, bringing Brooke's gaze back to meet his. She searched his eyes for a moment. He said the words so earnestly. The idea of her leaving Tree Hill clearly unsettled him. _Why?_

"Why do you care?" she asked, unable to hold in the question.

Lucas winced, clearly taken aback by her response. "Because I do, Brooke. I care about you." The blonde boy shrugged, shooting a sheepish smile in response to Brooke's defensive glare. "And I don't want you to go."

Brooke maintained her icy demeanour for a moment longer, as if in stand-off with the boy in front of her. Finally, she let go. She let herself appear as small and weak as she felt. Not because she wanted Lucas to see her that way, but because she didn't have the strength to uphold her mask any longer. "Yeah well, I don't think I have much of a choice," she said, defeated.

"No," Lucas protested. "I don't buy it. There has got to be another option. And I'm going to find it for you."

_This is too weird. _"Don't bother, Lucas. Maybe this whole moving to LA thing isn't such a bad idea. Maybe I need to get away."

"Is that what you want?" Lucas asked, although his tone really told her _that's not what you want._

"Yes." The word came out a lot less sure than she had hoped. "Maybe. I don't know," Brooke whined. "It's just… Tree Hill doesn't feel as safe as it used to."

Lucas rested his hand on her knee and rubbed it lightly. "I know," he said, and Brooke believed him. "But, I promise you, running away isn't the answer. That ache you feel, it doesn't leave when you leave Tree Hill. It stays with you, and eats away at you, and you realize that the only way to get rid of it is to restore the life you left behind because your new one can only take you so far."

Brooke heard a door slam. "Brooke!" This time, she recognised the voice immediately. Peyton. Just from hearing the single-syllable name come out of her friend's mouth, she could already detect Peyton's urgency.

"Oh my god," Brooke muttered, her eyes widening. She hadn't expected to see Peyton anytime within the next week, let alone mere hours after their heart-breaking conversation. "I'm sorry, Lucas. We'll talk later. I just… I really need to…"

Lucas held up his hands to let her know that she didn't have to explain. "It's okay. I'm glad you two are talking again." He smirked as he stood up straight. "The world just wasn't quite right when you weren't."

Brooke couldn't help but smile. _My thoughts exactly._

"Brooke, I'm so sorry…" Peyton's eyes fell on Lucas and she cut her sentence short.

"I was just leaving," he said, still smirking.

Peyton didn't respond. Her gaze just followed him until he'd left the room, and then her attention snapped back to Brooke, now standing in the same spot Lucas had been moments before.

Suddenly afraid of how that situation might have appeared, Brooke took a step towards Peyton. "He noticed neither of us was in school. He just wanted to make sure we were okay."

"Doesn't matter," Peyton said, immediately returning to her former presence, as though Lucas never interrupted her.

Neither girl spoke for many painfully prolonged seconds. Brooke finally broke the silence, reaching to grab the piece of paper. "So my neglectful, absentee parents solved our problem for us," she said. "I'm moving to LA." A smile forced its way across her face. She didn't know what else to say. She didn't know why Peyton was here. She had an idea, but one that she tried hard not to let surface. Every time she got her hopes up, they ended up crushed.

"What? No!" A flood of emotions washed over Peyton's features. Surprise, then concern, and finally sadness. "You can't go, Brooke," she pleaded.

"Why shouldn't I?" Brooke countered. She raised her eyebrows, demanding a reason to stay.

"Because I love you." The blonde's voice cracked, her bottom lip quivered and she carefully stepped forward. As if the words were meaningless the first time, she repeated them in a sincere whisper.

Brooke had succeeded. She hadn't gotten her hopes up, and she knew only because Peyton's confession took her by such surprise that it took a full minute to register. Once it did, she collapsed into a heap on the ground. The tears from earlier returned. She didn't know whether they were happy tears, because Peyton loved her. Or sad tears, because now she really did have something to lose.

She cried with such force that her whole body shook. It wasn't long before she felt Peyton's arms wrap around her, and Brooke let herself melt into her best friend. She returned the embrace, and clung to her for dear life. She felt Peyton kiss her forehead, followed by her temple, and then she just returned to holding her until the tears stopped and her body calmed. Even then, Brooke couldn't find the strength to pull away. Her house may still be empty, but Peyton filled the void in her heart.

--

((Okay, so I decided to end on a bittersweet-ish happy note this chapter. There are still some obstacles cough Lexxi, haha. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about her :P But I really just wanted to get myself restarted on positive ground before I worried about all that. If you're reading, please give feedback. I'm gonna need all the motivation I can get! ;))


	13. Chapter 13

Hey guys! So I'm finally back in school, and therefore, back to my procrastination-through-fiction routine. Yay! You can treat the summer as my hiatus. This is a short chapter, but there's more to come, I assure you. This I just needed to get out to finish off the last scene. Please leave feedback! I'll love you dearly :)

--

You know the part of the movie where, whether verbally or implicitly, Character X asks Character Y to give them a reason to stay? Peyton had watched the scene a hundred times before. She could almost feel it coming every time she grudgingly agreed to see a formulaic, cheesy chick flick with Brooke. It's always: Don't get on the plane! Stop the cab so I don't crash while I chase you! Refuse the dream job (or school) in another city so you can stay here with me! And, almost every time, there's a happy ending. The characters unite and all of their problems just melt away. Peyton wished she could watch this chapter in her life on screen. From the floor, where she clutched a sobbing Brooke in her arms, her life suddenly felt so surreal that she might as well be inside her own (slightly less cheesy) romantic comedy. But unfortunately, life is never as easy as Hollywood makes it out to be.

Behind the faux-finale of this story, there were real feelings, memories, and waterproof problems that Peyton had yet to break through. She tried to sort everything out before she arrived. She drove for nearly three hours, reached about fifty definite answers, and decided that the most important thing was that she and Brooke figure this out together. Brooke dented that plan pretty fast.

--

_"I'm moving to LA."_

_"What?" Peyton could barely believe what she was hearing. "No!" It had only been a few hours since her last visit. Brooke hadn't given her enough time. LIFE hadn't given her enough time. She was ready now. She wanted to take this on, not run from it. But now Brooke was the one running, and she was going a lot farther than Nathan's apartment. "You can't go Brooke."_

_"Why shouldn't I?"_

_Brooke was challenging her. Peyton had seen enough of those annoying chick flicks to know the answer. _

"_Because I love you." And this was where it got complicated – well, more complicated – because Peyton wasn't sure where that answer came from. Did it come from her? Or was it an automated response from an all-too-familiar fictional scene? Even after she said the words, she was unsure. She said them again, partly for Brooke, but mostly for herself. "I love you." She listened for sincerity, certainty, longing… anything that would confirm their significance. She couldn't find it. There were so many emotions embedded in those words that she couldn't pinpoint a single one. However, one thing that Peyton did notice – it felt right saying them. _

--

"This doesn't change the fact that I'm leaving," Brooke said, her sobs subsiding. She lifted her chin, finally daring to look her best friend in the eye. "Your timing sucks, P. Sawyer."

Peyton breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, that smile. Brooke's smile had the ability to relax her instantly, and she could really use the help in that department right now. "Well I guess I'll haveta make that up to you, B. Davis," she said, her arm loosening around Brooke before tugging her back playfully. "How'd you like to move in with me?"

Brooke's eyes batted a couple times and she leaned forward, as though unsure of what she'd just heard. "Really?"

_Okay, maybe I didn't quite think this through. _The words had slipped out before she could even consider what they'd mean. Was it too soon? Surely. Brooke Davis was no longer her best friend that she shared every intimate detail of her life with. Brooke Davis was her best-friend-turned-love-interest-overnight… and also someone who hated her guts not too long ago. Those were way too many titles for one person to hold! And to have to be with that person who elicits such a potpourri of emotions every time they're around – for school, cheer practise, and then at home – Peyton would have no room to breathe. _No. Not really. That was a joke. _

"Yeah, sure! It's a big house. I'm pretty sure that you'd fit," she heard herself say.

Brooke screeched and crashed into Peyton, catching the blonde off guard. "Oh my God, this is going to be _so _great!"

Peyton only froze in place, eyes wide. "Yeah."

The cheer captain broke off abruptly. "There was just one thing I wanted to ask you."

"Just one?" _That's weird. I have about five hundred and seventy that I'd ask myself if I thought I'd have the answers._

"Yeah," Brooke said. The smile disappeared and a crease appeared on her forehead. "It's just… have you told Lexxi?"

_Not exactly. _Peyton's lip quivered as she struggled to find the words. She hoped it wasn't taking as long as it felt to give Brooke her answer.

--

_The oak door was ajar when she arrived. 'Thank you!' she said to herself. She'd already spent enough time waiting out front of people's houses today. Peyton pushed her way inside and peered up at the spiralling staircase. She hadn't bothered to prepare a speech, or even an outline of facts-to-cover. It wouldn't do her any good here. _

_"Hey babes. Whatcha doing here?" Lexxi chirped, appearing at the kitchen entrance._

_Peyton pivoted in the direction of her girlfriend's voice and shoved her hands in her pockets. "Oh, y'know. Thought I'd stop by, make sure you're okay… grovel a bit for my disappearing act this morning." She took a couple steps towards Lexxi. "That wasn't cool. Sorry."_

_"I tried calling."_

_The blonde flinched. "I know. I just… I needed to think. I needed to clear my head and figure some things out and I needed to do it alone."_

_Silence reigned for what felt like minutes, and then "Is this about Brooke?"_

_Peyton's eyes bulged. "What?"_

_"I knew it. You're just so anxious about the friend thing that you can't sleep." The brunette wandered over to the stoic still girl in front of her. "Don't worry so much! Everyone knows that it'll work out. You're Brooke and Peyton! Do you know how many freshman girls compare their friendships to yours? It's kinda pathetic, really."_

_Peyton's shoulders relaxed, her shoulders sinking back to their normal level. "You're right. I've gotta stop stressing myself out over this."_

_"And if it doesn't work out, you've got the perfect replacement right here."_

_Peyton frowned. "You know I could never replace her," she said, sounding slightly more defensive than she meant to. _

_Lexxi rolled her eyes. "I just mean, I get compared to Brooke Davis all the time. Everyone says I sorta look like her… at least, the guys do. They make jokes about hot twin threesomes and lame stuff like that all the time. Like you haven't noticed."_

_Peyton hadn't. Her mind raced back to the one question Nate had asked that she couldn't answer: Are you attracted to her? She'd blabbered on about Brooke being beautiful, but very carefully skirted around the real answer Nate was looking for. _

_"I have to go," Peyton murmured. She couldn't help but wonder if her subconscious had been playing tricks on her. Whether or not this male-opinion was significant, she took it as a sign. She needed to go back to Brooke. With the checkmark in the attraction box, she couldn't think of any other reason to stay away. If Lexxi spoke, Peyton didn't hear. In a matter of seconds, she was out the door._

--

"I will soon," Peyton said, rubbing Brooke's upper arm. "I _was_ a bit in a hurry. You see, I needed to get back here and let you know that I made a big mistake." She leaned down to rest her head on Brooke's shoulder. "I left you, and said those things to you, even though every part of me was screaming not to. But, you know, I think that's the exact reason I did. I was so scared of that, Brooke."

Brooke nodded lightly. "It's okay. You're here now. And whatever you said this morning, it doesn't matter." She held Peyton's gaze for several moments. And then she abruptly got to her feet and smirked down at the wide-eyed blonde. "But that means you're still technically with her, and until you're not, you're not gonna be with me." Breaking eye contact, she added, "I know what it's like to be in her position. And it sucks. And no matter how much I bitch and complain about her, she deserves better."

Peyton could only nod. She knew Brooke was right. _But… more waiting? COME ON!_

"So. That roommate offer still stand?"

Peyton stood, once again eye-to-eye with her almost-best-friend-turned-girlfriend. "Yeah. Starts tonight."

Brooke's smirk fell from her face. Peyton instantly felt her discomfort. "Oh, and just one more thing…"

"Sure," Peyton prompted. "What is it?"

"It's just – if we're gonna be sharing a bed and all – this might get a little complicated… if you keep on hogging the freaking covers!" Brooke gave a final screech before running towards the stairs for her bedroom. She'd had enough of this big, empty house. Time to pack.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey guys! Second update in one week, woot! Thank you SO very much to those of you that stayed with me and still reviewed in spite of my wicked long absence. It means a lot that you're still interested in the story. I feel kinda like I'm starting again; like this is the beginning of part 2 or something. I'll keep the faith that more of my regular reviewers will come back once I get into my old updating habits again. Hope you like the chapter!

--

"I don't know if this is gonna work."

"Brooke, would you stop worrying already? I told you we'd figure it out."

"I _know _you said that, but look at us! We've been trying for days now, and have we gotten anywhere? No!"

"Just… stop talking like that! I need a second to think."

"Great, Peyton. That's great. Just take another second to think. That's really what we need right now. All you do is think!"

"Fine. You're right. Let's just throw it all away."

A gasp. "Hey. I never said that."

"Well, I just did. They're just clothes, Brooke! And clearly they're not all gonna fit in the closet… or all the closets in my house for that matter." The blonde gazed sympathetically at her new roommate as she placed her hand on the other girl's shoulder. "I think it's time."

Brooke started to object, but changed her mind as her glance hit a violet t-shirt with a fuzzy butterfly across the chest. It was one article of clothing that she'd actually hung already, without even second guessing her choice.

"I guess you're right," Brooke droned. She plucked the article of clothing from its wire hanger, where it had dangled over three other (much more presentable) shirts. As she stood, simply staring at the item, she felt Peyton flinch next to her. "You okay?"

The corners of Peyton's lips twitched a couple times before she erupted into laughter. "I'm sorry. It's just… what were you thinking when you bought that?"

Brooke contemplated that for a long moment. "I have no idea," she replied finally, still dazed.

"Well I think that you'd look gorgeous in it." Peyton snatched the purple shirt from Brooke's grip and held it up against the girl's chest. "Uh huh. Definitely a keeper," she said with a smirk.

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. Brooke Davis didn't always have the greatest fashion sense. Laugh it up, Sawyer." She swiped the shirt back and immediately threw it to the ground.

"I'll let you in on something," Peyton said after a moment. "The laughing and mocking and all that? I'm only doin' it because you look good in anything. And, well, I can be a bit of a bitch." She beamed at the shorter girl, who lightened up at the comment. "You could wear that shirt with baggy, ripped up jeans, and you'd _still_ look beautiful."

"Yeah. Right," Brooke said, a low chuckle escaping her lips as she looked down.

"Huh, I think I'll stick to mockery next time. You really need to learn how to take a compliment." Peyton dared to slide her hands around Brooke's waist, and Brooke's hands instantly shot up to remove them. She kept her eyes on the floor.

"Have you told Lexxi?" It was more a warning than a question, her tone low and even. Brooke knew Peyton's answer. She just didn't understand the reasoning behind it. She'd repeated these same words about fifteen times since that day in her den, every time Peyton got too close. On the first few days, the blonde kept her distance anyway. Brooke knew she was still a little freaked. Okay, a lot freaked. And at first, Brooke had meant her question. There was even a small part of her that expected Peyton to say 'yes.' But almost a week had passed now, and that hope had vanished. The answer would be 'no,' and it would be followed by an excuse. And Brooke would try not to worry. And she'd try not to cry.

When Peyton still hadn't said a word ten seconds later, Brooke looked up. Peyton's expression confirmed her fears. Creased forehead and sadly gawking eyes, it clearly read _'I'm sorry.' _The brunette sighed and turned around. "Whatever. I'm gonna take a walk."

"Brooke, wait," Peyton pleaded, clutching lightly her roommate's arm. Brooke didn't turn to face her again but she did stop, letting Peyton know she was listening. "I invited her over tonight to watch a movie. I'm gonna tell her." Peyton nodded, despite the fact that Brooke's back was to her. "I will. Promise."

Brooke stood still a second longer, wondering whether or not to believe her. Undecided, she scurried out of the room.

--

Six days ago, Peyton came back to her. She came back and Brooke readily forgot that dark, empty pit that Peyton left her in. She disregarded the past seven months, and the more recent dawn wake up call. In that moment, Brooke only saw their future. And that, Brooke understood now, was where she made her mistake. She mistook what could be for what surely would be. She assumed Peyton would tell Lexxi without any reservations. She thought she and Peyton would figure this out together and at the same pace. She believed that their future would start tomorrow. Well, it was six days later and tomorrow still hadn't come.

Lexxi was the most blaring reminder of that. She had visited a couple times since Brooke moved in. She and Peyton would hang out downstairs; they'd watch television sometimes or listen to music, but mostly they'd just sit on the couch and chat. Meanwhile, Brooke would hide in Peyton's bedroom like a secret lover, tortured by the giggles and flirtation easily heard through the thin ceiling. That bedroom was like a cage in her own personal hell. Sure, she could leave if she wanted to. It wasn't that Lexxi didn't know she lived there, or that she and Peyton had grown closer. It was that the bedroom of hell was still preferable to the other options. _Go downstairs, and witness the giggles and flirtation first hand, or go out and leave the bedroom free for…_ Brooke shuddered. That option was out of the question altogether.

By the time Brooke returned to the house that evening, Lexxi had already taken her spot on the couch next to Peyton. The head cheerleader peered through the archway at the couple as she slipped off her green pumps. Peyton was squished against the edge of the loveseat with Lexxi against her, not leaving any space between them. _There are two cushions for a reason! Use them, and get your scrawny ass away from my… Peyton. _Both sets of eyes were fixed to the television. Brooke stood for a second longer before heading for the stairs, her eyes still on the two girls. Peyton crooked her neck slowly, and only about an inch, in Brooke's direction. The blonde's eyes shifted to the stairs. When they connected with Brooke's, the worry within them declined. Brooke stalled on the step, unable to move while under her roommate's stare.

Lexxi took this opportunity to snuggle in closer to Peyton and peck her lips, before resting her head on the other girl's shoulder. The worry was back, but Brooke only saw it for a split second before Peyton's head whipped back to the television.

_You can't be serious. _Brooke's frustration shot up, and she was in no mood to damper it.

Riding on spontaneity, Brooke stumbled back down the stairs and right over to the loveseat. She slumped down on the free cushion.

"So, what are we watchin'?" she asked, bubbling with bitterness.

Peyton nudged Lexxi away, earning her a confused glare from her girlfriend and a satisfied smile from Brooke. But after a moment, even that smile faded to confusion. _Why didn't you do that earlier?_

Peyton's eyes flicked nervously between the TV and Brooke. "A Lot Like Love."

Brooke laughed, and she couldn't suppress the hint of malice. "Come on. You hate that movie!"

"I don't mind it," the blonde objected.

Lexxi detached herself from her girlfriend, tossing one last concerned glance over her shoulder. "You don't have to lie, Peyton. I know you hate it."

"Yeah, Peyton. You don't have to lie." Brooke's unwavering gaze finally caught Peyton's skittish one. The blonde gulped.

If Lexxi caught the undertone in Brooke's voice, she didn't show it. "The movie just started. You can watch with us if you want." It was as though the girl was reading from a script; she clearly didn't mean what she said, but felt obliged to say it anyway.

"Thanks, Lex," Brooke sang. She repositioned herself on the couch, letting the others know she was staying.

"Brooke, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?" Peyton demanded.

The brunette tried to look confident. "Of course, roommate," she chirped.

Without another word, Peyton rose and trotted to the kitchen. Brooke followed, leaving Lexxi alone to stare after them.

Once safely in the separate room, Peyton spun to face the cowering girl behind her. "What are you doing, Brooke?" she snapped.

The confidence receding, Brooke shrugged. "I don't know." Suddenly she felt very small. "I saw you in there with her and I just thought… I thought: she is _never _going to tell her. And I'm gonna be the fool that waits anyway," she whispered.

Peyton rested an arm on the counter and took a breath. "Okay, Brooke, listen to me. I _will _tell her. You have to believe me that I want to be with _you, _but Lexxi… I need to let her down lightly, y'know? She was kinda the only friend I had while we were apart."

"So you don't regret what you said?"

"Regret it? No! I meant all of that. I won't take it back." Peyton took a step forward. She reached out, but quickly withdrew. Brooke knew she would've pushed her away anyway, but found her heart sinking when Peyton did it for her. _Don't give in now, B. Davis, _she thought to herself. _You're still not that girl._

"Okay," Brooke murmured, "but Peyton? I know you're waiting for the right time or whatever, but you mind finding that time faster? You're driving a girl mad over here."

"_You're _going mad? Every time I try to touch you, you act like I'm the plague."

"You have no idea know how hard that is."

"Well, it's torture for me."

"Well, stop trying to touch me then."

"I can't."

It was the first time Brooke had heard such blunt, honest words come out of Peyton's mouth. Even Peyton seemed shocked at her confession. The blonde's eyes widened, and her lips pursed. Neither girl spoke. The temptation to give in grew, to the point that Brooke could barely hold back. The longer they stood in silence, the stronger the tension.

"Movie time?" Brooke asked and, without waiting for a response, dashed back to her spot on the couch. _That was close. _

She would let Lexxi and Peyton talk. She would trust them to be alone. She would do it right after the movie was over. "Anyone want popcorn?"


End file.
